Today we awoke to find the world awash in radiant white everywhere. Our first true snow fall of the winter and a rare occurrence in these parts. You can go a couple of winters here without seeing snow. Which always makes me appreciate its beauty when do receive a snow fall.
There is something about winter that appeals to me. I love that is is the least demanding time of year. There is far less to "do" and therefore more time to just "be". The other seasons are full of busy work.and activity Spring with yard work and planting and spring cleaning. Summer with kids out of school, trying to escape the heat, trips and traveling. Fall with leaves to deal with every weekend, school resuming, the headlong rush into the holiday season. Winter is different. It is a time of dormancy. It is a time for quiet and stillness. When the weather is bad, things tend to grind to a halt and any plans you have made must be scrapped. This probably annoys most people. I always see it as a gift. The gift of a day to do whatever I want, rather than what I was supposed to be doing.
Being naturally prone to introspection I need down time. I need time to think, to process, to write, to reflect on things, to read. One of my friends likes to say we are human "beings" not human "doings", though this isn't how most of us live. In this culture we live to "do". If you are not "doing" something there is an unspoken accusation that you are somehow shirking your responsibilities. To which I often wish to respond "Even the Almighty rested on the 7th day!". If that was good enough for Him, why is it that we think we know better?
I think a time of dormancy is necessary. It was designed by God to prepare us for the tasks ahead. Trees need to rest in barenness before they push out their budding leaves in the spring. When we push through our season of dormancy and fill it up with frenetic activity it is a bit like forcing things to bloom in unnatural conditions, such as those produced in a hot house. Sort of how we trick pointsettias into blooming for Christmas. Has anyone ever seen a poinsettia still alive by Valentine's Day? I didn't think so!
So for the next two months I intend to enjoy my dormant season. It will end soon enough. Spring with all its insistent demands and alluring beauty is just around the corner. I'm going to enjoy the bleak midwinter while it lasts. Snow upon snow. Barren landscape and lifeless trees limbs. The stark beauty of this season of dormancy feeds my soul by giving me permission to just be. Shalom!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Don't Miss the Gift
It's Christmas Day. This is always a quiet day around my house. We never travel for Christmas and we keep it simple. Christmas Eve candle light service, food and drinks with my parents following this, some holiday TV watching. Today is is gift giving in the morning followed by dinner at my mom and dad's house. The chaos and mayhem of the past 6 weeks draws to a merciful close.
This year I let a lot of things slide. I made decisions to spend my time in other ways. They were consciously made. I knew if I did these things that I felt called to do, that other tasks that typically occupy me at this time of year would suffer or not happen at all. While this created some conflict within me at times, I knew that the things I was doing, the people I was serving, were the right choice. It occurs to me that each of us is faced with many such decisions on a daily basis. There is a push and a pull on us at all times. We are constantly asked to make choices. We can either chose things that will have a lasting impact, or we can be derailed and make lesser choices that are typically easier, but far less important in His grand scheme of things.
The Christmas Story is much like this. The easier choice for Mary would have been "No thanks, Gabriel. Tell God I'm honored, but if it's all the same, He should probably find someone else for this job!" The easier choice for Joseph would have been for him to send Mary away quietly as he had planned rather than proceeding to take her as his wife. The easiest choice for the shepherds would have been to stay in the fields with the flocks instead of venturing into Bethlehem looking for a stable somewhere housing an infant. And what of the Magi? Following that star for years! Why not stay home warm in the comforts of their great palaces rather than journeying on the back of camels across difficult terrain in search of who knows what? All of these people made difficult choices. And because of their choices God's perfect plan of salvation for the world came to fruition.
If the principle players in the Christmas Story would have made different choices, they would have missed it. They would have missed the birth. There would have been no birth to miss. We make similar choices today. And if we are not careful, we too will miss it. Through all the chaos, tinsel, holiday shopping sprees, trips to the post office, packages, bows, holiday cookies, cards, parties, celebrations, gatherings- where is it? Where is the miracle of the baby lying in the manger? You see, this is what turns me into a Grinch this time of year. It is all these other things that attempt to crowd out the miracle that annoy me. Which is why the moment I live for every Christmas season is that moment when the lights are dimmed and hundreds of voices are raised in prefect harmony by candle light. "Silent Night. Holy Night". There it is! Finally! Everything recedes and all that is left is to kneel next to the manger and peer at the sleeping Holy infant. He is come. The promise of the ages. May we not miss the gift he brings.....the promise of redemption for all who believe. Shalom!
This year I let a lot of things slide. I made decisions to spend my time in other ways. They were consciously made. I knew if I did these things that I felt called to do, that other tasks that typically occupy me at this time of year would suffer or not happen at all. While this created some conflict within me at times, I knew that the things I was doing, the people I was serving, were the right choice. It occurs to me that each of us is faced with many such decisions on a daily basis. There is a push and a pull on us at all times. We are constantly asked to make choices. We can either chose things that will have a lasting impact, or we can be derailed and make lesser choices that are typically easier, but far less important in His grand scheme of things.
The Christmas Story is much like this. The easier choice for Mary would have been "No thanks, Gabriel. Tell God I'm honored, but if it's all the same, He should probably find someone else for this job!" The easier choice for Joseph would have been for him to send Mary away quietly as he had planned rather than proceeding to take her as his wife. The easiest choice for the shepherds would have been to stay in the fields with the flocks instead of venturing into Bethlehem looking for a stable somewhere housing an infant. And what of the Magi? Following that star for years! Why not stay home warm in the comforts of their great palaces rather than journeying on the back of camels across difficult terrain in search of who knows what? All of these people made difficult choices. And because of their choices God's perfect plan of salvation for the world came to fruition.
If the principle players in the Christmas Story would have made different choices, they would have missed it. They would have missed the birth. There would have been no birth to miss. We make similar choices today. And if we are not careful, we too will miss it. Through all the chaos, tinsel, holiday shopping sprees, trips to the post office, packages, bows, holiday cookies, cards, parties, celebrations, gatherings- where is it? Where is the miracle of the baby lying in the manger? You see, this is what turns me into a Grinch this time of year. It is all these other things that attempt to crowd out the miracle that annoy me. Which is why the moment I live for every Christmas season is that moment when the lights are dimmed and hundreds of voices are raised in prefect harmony by candle light. "Silent Night. Holy Night". There it is! Finally! Everything recedes and all that is left is to kneel next to the manger and peer at the sleeping Holy infant. He is come. The promise of the ages. May we not miss the gift he brings.....the promise of redemption for all who believe. Shalom!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
The Messiness of the Human Heart
Do you ever have times in your life when it seems impossible to understand even your own heart? Let alone another that of another person? Most of the time for me things are crystal clear. I have a pretty high degree of self awareness. I am able to sort thru my thoughts and feelings with relative ease and come to conclusions quickly, without a lot of laboring. Once in awile, however, something takes me completely by surprise and I struggle to understand the contents of my own heart. For me this is the most painful of conditions. It is hard not to be able to understand another person. It is unbearable not to be able to understand yourself. I need to know why I act in certain ways. Why I believe certain things. Why I feel the way I do about various people. .....
When I can't understand any one of these things, when something seems to make no sense, I feel like a house built on shifting sand. I just want desperately to get off the shaky ground and back on solid footing. Sometimes a relentless internal search will yield answers. At other times, this is not the case. It is the latter where I experience the greatest difficulty. When I ask the hard questions, and still the answers don't seem to come...
I think perhaps this may be God's way of teaching us difficult lessons such as dependency and humility. When we are sure of everything, when we are in control of all our thoughts and emotions, when we have it all figured out, we are operating under our own power. We don't really need to consult Him for anything. What drives me to my knees again and again is when I feel helpless. When I lack answers. When I don't understand something. When I can't find within myself the truth because I just can't see it. When I am blind, I need sight. I need His illumination. When my heart is a mess and I can't wade my way thru the confusion, this is when I am most in need of His divine intervention. Maybe this is why God allows us to be made weak in our understanding of things now and then. So that we will turn to Him and seek His face. So that we are reminded that He is God and we are not!
So that is what I am doing during this time of not understanding my own heart. I wish it were easier. I wish it would end sooner. I wish I could power my way thru the mess of my feelings but instead I find that I must sit and wait for answers that I hope will come. And while I wait, I pray. This is, in the end, all I know to do......Shalom!
When I can't understand any one of these things, when something seems to make no sense, I feel like a house built on shifting sand. I just want desperately to get off the shaky ground and back on solid footing. Sometimes a relentless internal search will yield answers. At other times, this is not the case. It is the latter where I experience the greatest difficulty. When I ask the hard questions, and still the answers don't seem to come...
I think perhaps this may be God's way of teaching us difficult lessons such as dependency and humility. When we are sure of everything, when we are in control of all our thoughts and emotions, when we have it all figured out, we are operating under our own power. We don't really need to consult Him for anything. What drives me to my knees again and again is when I feel helpless. When I lack answers. When I don't understand something. When I can't find within myself the truth because I just can't see it. When I am blind, I need sight. I need His illumination. When my heart is a mess and I can't wade my way thru the confusion, this is when I am most in need of His divine intervention. Maybe this is why God allows us to be made weak in our understanding of things now and then. So that we will turn to Him and seek His face. So that we are reminded that He is God and we are not!
So that is what I am doing during this time of not understanding my own heart. I wish it were easier. I wish it would end sooner. I wish I could power my way thru the mess of my feelings but instead I find that I must sit and wait for answers that I hope will come. And while I wait, I pray. This is, in the end, all I know to do......Shalom!
Saturday, December 11, 2010
True Love
Love is one of the most misunderstood of human emotions. What we are fed culturally in this society is a cheap imitation of the real thing much as the empty calories of soda and junk food are passed off as nourishment for our bodies. We see all sorts of dysfunctional relationships played out in TV dramas and reality shows, all allegedly portraying "love". Most of what we see presented bears absolutely no resemblance to the real deal.
So what do I mean by real love? The Hebrews used the word Agape to describe the love of God. This is the way in which God loves each of us and how He calls us to love one and other. This is the type of love that is described as the way Christ loves the Church. The problem with Agape Love is that it is so rare as to be virtually unrecognizable. This is the type of love that bears all things. That forgives unconditionally. That never fails even when we do. Sound familiar? I didn't think so!
The first place I ever remember becoming familiar with the concept of Agape Love was when I went on The Walk to Emmaus several years ago. Emmaus is all about Agape Love. For 72 hours each of the pilgrims on The Walk gets a crash course on Agape . At the end of your time at Emmaus you know what it is to be loved and cared for in the most perfect and holy of ways. Which explains why this experience is so life changing for many Christians.
I recently experienced Agape Love when participating in a healing service at my church about a month ago. What I remember thinking and feeling that night was this sense that this was somehow the real mission of the church. That so much of what we do isn't the real thing. But there was a recognition that night that this somehow was. The difference was easily discernible. It is hard to describe if you weren't there, but in that moment I had perfect clarity that this was exactly what Jesus had in mind when He called us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Something extraordinary took place in the union of the hearts and hands of all those gathered together in prayer that night.
Which leads me to my most recent experience with Agape Love and that is the love that compels you to stand with someone in the most difficult of circumstances. I am talking about death and all the ugly realities of it. Death itself, I am finding, is far less to be feared than the actual process of it. This is true for the one who is dying as well. The real fear comes from the long, slow, drawn out incapacitation, loss of functioning, increasing dependency, and loss of dignity. This is the real enemy. Very few people, I have found, are actually up to the task of seeing this through. It is so very difficult. Which is why at the end, so many people simply turn away rather than face it. Ordinary love isn't enough to see you through this situation. But Agape Love is. This is the love that God supplies that enables us to bear all things, no matter how difficult.
As I spend the last days on this earth that I can with my best childhood friend who is dying from cancer, I am reminded that this is the final act of love which I can show her. I can change nothing in this situation. I can't fix anything as much as I want to. I am powerless. But I can be present. I can care for her physical needs. I can comfort her child and husband. I can laugh, and remember, and cry with her over all the we have shared, over all that we will never share as I am left behind while she goes on ahead. The good news in this is that we know that this is not goodbye, but merely farewell. We know that we will see each other again in eternity. And this, we know, is because of the Agape Love of a Holy God who so loved the world that He sent His Son to ensure that all who believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Now that's True Love. Shalom!
So what do I mean by real love? The Hebrews used the word Agape to describe the love of God. This is the way in which God loves each of us and how He calls us to love one and other. This is the type of love that is described as the way Christ loves the Church. The problem with Agape Love is that it is so rare as to be virtually unrecognizable. This is the type of love that bears all things. That forgives unconditionally. That never fails even when we do. Sound familiar? I didn't think so!
The first place I ever remember becoming familiar with the concept of Agape Love was when I went on The Walk to Emmaus several years ago. Emmaus is all about Agape Love. For 72 hours each of the pilgrims on The Walk gets a crash course on Agape . At the end of your time at Emmaus you know what it is to be loved and cared for in the most perfect and holy of ways. Which explains why this experience is so life changing for many Christians.
I recently experienced Agape Love when participating in a healing service at my church about a month ago. What I remember thinking and feeling that night was this sense that this was somehow the real mission of the church. That so much of what we do isn't the real thing. But there was a recognition that night that this somehow was. The difference was easily discernible. It is hard to describe if you weren't there, but in that moment I had perfect clarity that this was exactly what Jesus had in mind when He called us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Something extraordinary took place in the union of the hearts and hands of all those gathered together in prayer that night.
Which leads me to my most recent experience with Agape Love and that is the love that compels you to stand with someone in the most difficult of circumstances. I am talking about death and all the ugly realities of it. Death itself, I am finding, is far less to be feared than the actual process of it. This is true for the one who is dying as well. The real fear comes from the long, slow, drawn out incapacitation, loss of functioning, increasing dependency, and loss of dignity. This is the real enemy. Very few people, I have found, are actually up to the task of seeing this through. It is so very difficult. Which is why at the end, so many people simply turn away rather than face it. Ordinary love isn't enough to see you through this situation. But Agape Love is. This is the love that God supplies that enables us to bear all things, no matter how difficult.
As I spend the last days on this earth that I can with my best childhood friend who is dying from cancer, I am reminded that this is the final act of love which I can show her. I can change nothing in this situation. I can't fix anything as much as I want to. I am powerless. But I can be present. I can care for her physical needs. I can comfort her child and husband. I can laugh, and remember, and cry with her over all the we have shared, over all that we will never share as I am left behind while she goes on ahead. The good news in this is that we know that this is not goodbye, but merely farewell. We know that we will see each other again in eternity. And this, we know, is because of the Agape Love of a Holy God who so loved the world that He sent His Son to ensure that all who believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Now that's True Love. Shalom!
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