Today I am a half century old. Boy is that hard to write! I have never been one to worry about birthdays piling up. 30 was nothing. 40 was a breeze. 50? Not so much! This one has been tough. Something about 50 seems just, well.....really old! You can be almost certainn at this point that most of your life is now behind you. Thus it seems proper that a moment or two of reflection is in order.
So I have basically been dreading this date on the calender all year. One by one my friends have marked their 50th birthdays. Some gracefully, some kicking and screaming. For me it has been more a sense of just dread! I have been dreading turning 50. It seems silly to say this, but it is the truth.
Recently, however, I have begun to think that it might not be the end of the world. What has made the difference, has been focusing on all the things in my life that I have to be grateful for. Which is a pretty substantial list I have discovered.
The most important thing that I have to be grateful for, I have discovered, can be summed up in one simple word: Relationships. That pretty much encompasses everything. There is my relationship with God first and foremost. My relationship with my husband and family. My relationship with many close friends both new and old, near and far. My relationship with my co-workers, many of whom are also friends. My relationship with the people of my church family. My relationship with my 4 legged children. All of these relationships are what provide nearly every drop of sweetness in my life. It is all these connections that make life worth living. And even though youth and beauty fade, health fails, the mind can weaken, relationships persist as long as the people in your life continue their journey on this planet.
But inevitably, one by one, all the relationships in our lives will end, except the one with our Creator. Becausee one by one we will all leave this life. There is only one way outta' here. No one gets a pass. Even Christ faced death and He was divine. But if we have faith, we are promised a life after this one. We are promised an eternal life. One that is perfect. One where we will be reunited with our loved ones and friends. One where we will never hurt or grow old, or experience sickness, loneliness or brokenness. Given the perfection of heaven, I sometimes wonder why we cling to earth for all it's worth! If you believe in the promises of Christ, then you know that in death there is nothing to fear.
So at this point I figure I am much closer to death than I am to birth. Therefore, I am going to stop spending time worrying about stupid stuff and instead focus on the sweetness of life and all the relationships that produce it. I want to fill my life with people I love, books, music, flowers, quiet time, prayer and reflection, yoga classes, writing, travel, and spreading the Good News. I want to do all that I can to promote the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth. Because as I have said before- I want to hear these words at the end of my life "well done good and faithful servant" . This seems like a good goal for whatever years lie ahead....The place past 50. That journey begins today...... Shalom!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 30, 2010
Be Careful What You Ask For.......
I've been doing a lot of praying and reflecting lately. Call it my mid-life crisis if you like. At least I am not leaving my spouse, having plastic surgery or taking up sky diving. Comparatively speaking, I am not engaged in anything too radical. Except that when you are dealing with God, things can take on a whole new dimension......
So the gist of my prayers, among other things, is that He can just take over. "Jesus Take the Wheel" so to speak, except without the other hokey country lyrics! Have at it God! You can be the boss of me, as my kids used to say when they were young. If You show me what You want me to do, then I will do it. I promise. But You better make it REALLY clear, because after years of doing my own thing, I might be a little out of practice hearing You. And that's where it has gotten interesting.....
So when you pray for the opportunity to serve God and to be obedient, guess what- He shows up and gives you something big to do, but then nothing else. No advice. No road map. No nothing. Just this : "You do it". Okay.....so I get that you want me to do something about this situation I have been praying about but seriously- I can't figure this one out on my own. It's too big! Here's where I have to resist the temptation to whine a bit......
So for the next few days I kept thinking and praying and wondering where this was all going to end up. Still no road map. Finally what I figure out was that I'm not supposed to have the plan. That all I had to do is take the first few steps in faith. That I could then wait to see how and where He would show up to get things done. Because He totally will. He's not asking me to do anything that He won't work out. All I had to do was take a few steps.....
So I did that. I'm not saying there haven't been road blocks and dead ends. But what I have learned from this is that overcoming those obstacles will bring even more glory to His name when the final hurdle is cleared. And it will be. Things are working out. There have been lots of phone calls, lots of culling through information about various potential solutions. I have found someone to partner with who also cares deeply about this situation. I have reached out, and shared, and involved people from my church both clergy and laity for help. People are responding. They want to help. They are giving so that a family in need will have a desperate need met. No one has turned away. The generosity of a few people has been overwhelming.....To God be the glory.....
The other thing that God has asked me to do I have been less obedient about. Did I mention there were two things? Maybe I should say two things so far..... However, that landed squarely back on my plate too, when a friend said to me very directly and in no uncertain terms "You know. You absolutely know that God is calling you to teach". Not maybe you should think about this, Melissa. Not have you considered this. Just "you know". Crap! Yes, I kind of do know and I have considered it in a half hearted way. I even raised the question myself. Kind of. In a non-committal sort of way.....This one is even harder than the bigger task above because it involves taking a big personal risk. Who am I to teach anyone anything? Like I have any answers! Mostly what I have are tough questions and the unflinching ability to ask them. The other quality I possess is the ability to endure discomfort in the quest for spiritual growth. I like being challenged. I prefer the truth, thank you. No need to sugar coat anything for me. I can take it. Maybe that is all I need to lead a small group study. I will have to trust God to lead the right people into such a group, because it could be a disaster otherwise! Not everyone likes tough questions and sticky issues. I get that. Maybe there will be a class disclaimer: "If you just want a little feel good Christianity this is not the class for you" That's fair, right? A little truth in advertising.....We'll see.....
I'm just saying- one thing at a time God, one thing at a time. Promise I'll get to it all at some point.....I'm still a work in progress. You are the Potter. I am just the clay. The vessel isn't complete yet. But it is sort of fun to think about what the finished product might look like.....Shalom!
So the gist of my prayers, among other things, is that He can just take over. "Jesus Take the Wheel" so to speak, except without the other hokey country lyrics! Have at it God! You can be the boss of me, as my kids used to say when they were young. If You show me what You want me to do, then I will do it. I promise. But You better make it REALLY clear, because after years of doing my own thing, I might be a little out of practice hearing You. And that's where it has gotten interesting.....
So when you pray for the opportunity to serve God and to be obedient, guess what- He shows up and gives you something big to do, but then nothing else. No advice. No road map. No nothing. Just this : "You do it". Okay.....so I get that you want me to do something about this situation I have been praying about but seriously- I can't figure this one out on my own. It's too big! Here's where I have to resist the temptation to whine a bit......
So for the next few days I kept thinking and praying and wondering where this was all going to end up. Still no road map. Finally what I figure out was that I'm not supposed to have the plan. That all I had to do is take the first few steps in faith. That I could then wait to see how and where He would show up to get things done. Because He totally will. He's not asking me to do anything that He won't work out. All I had to do was take a few steps.....
So I did that. I'm not saying there haven't been road blocks and dead ends. But what I have learned from this is that overcoming those obstacles will bring even more glory to His name when the final hurdle is cleared. And it will be. Things are working out. There have been lots of phone calls, lots of culling through information about various potential solutions. I have found someone to partner with who also cares deeply about this situation. I have reached out, and shared, and involved people from my church both clergy and laity for help. People are responding. They want to help. They are giving so that a family in need will have a desperate need met. No one has turned away. The generosity of a few people has been overwhelming.....To God be the glory.....
The other thing that God has asked me to do I have been less obedient about. Did I mention there were two things? Maybe I should say two things so far..... However, that landed squarely back on my plate too, when a friend said to me very directly and in no uncertain terms "You know. You absolutely know that God is calling you to teach". Not maybe you should think about this, Melissa. Not have you considered this. Just "you know". Crap! Yes, I kind of do know and I have considered it in a half hearted way. I even raised the question myself. Kind of. In a non-committal sort of way.....This one is even harder than the bigger task above because it involves taking a big personal risk. Who am I to teach anyone anything? Like I have any answers! Mostly what I have are tough questions and the unflinching ability to ask them. The other quality I possess is the ability to endure discomfort in the quest for spiritual growth. I like being challenged. I prefer the truth, thank you. No need to sugar coat anything for me. I can take it. Maybe that is all I need to lead a small group study. I will have to trust God to lead the right people into such a group, because it could be a disaster otherwise! Not everyone likes tough questions and sticky issues. I get that. Maybe there will be a class disclaimer: "If you just want a little feel good Christianity this is not the class for you" That's fair, right? A little truth in advertising.....We'll see.....
I'm just saying- one thing at a time God, one thing at a time. Promise I'll get to it all at some point.....I'm still a work in progress. You are the Potter. I am just the clay. The vessel isn't complete yet. But it is sort of fun to think about what the finished product might look like.....Shalom!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Things that Make Me Squirm
I have the unusual personality trait of being able to face things that make me uncomfortable. I will not back away from anything just because it makes me uneasy. I would rather look at what's going on inside and ask myself "Why does this bother me?" I would rather look things in the eye than turn away. Wrestling with issues that bother us, in the end, I believe promotes growth. A faith unexamined is not a faith worth having someone famous once said.....sure wish I could remember who that was....
So the current book I am reading "Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream" is just deeply discomforting. Let me just say it now and get it out of the way. This book REALLY is a tough read. On so many levels, for so many reasons. This will probably be the subject of the next several posts- there is just so much here to grapple with....
First difficulty for me is that the author, David Platt, is a young evangelical Baptist of the Southern persuasion. I have a tough time with the Baptist Church . (I apologize in advance to all my Baptist friends). They have always seemed a bit too rigid to me. Not my cup of tea. I dislike their stance on women in the church and their complete inflexibility about the specific nature of baptism (whole body immersion) vs sprinkling of babies, etc has always struck me as just plain silly. Like God is gonna' punish people due to a lack of sufficient water over the entire body. Have these people ever heard of the Pharisees and how Jesus constantly admonished them over their rabid legalism as opposed to being adherent to the spirit of the law? Guess not!
But in the interest of reading with an open mind, I have set this aside. More or less. The basic gist of this book is, that if you are a Christian (or if you call yourself one) then it is imperative that you be about God's business in the world of The Great Commission which is to go out and make disciples of ALL NATIONS. Platt basically believes that in this country, our pursuit of the American Dream is the antithesis of the mission of Christianity. The American Dream emphasizes individualism, self promotion, self awareness, pursuit of personal happiness at all costs, materialism, accumulation of wealth, power, and influence. Contrast that with the mission of Christianity, which is to die daily in Christ, to put the self aside, to sacrifice for the Kingdom of Heaven, to obey God's commandment to go and spread the Gospel to all the world, and to be willing to die if need be pursuant to all of the above. Are you squirming yet? You should be!
So why don't we behave like who we say we are? Lots of reasons, but the one that bothers me the most deals with the whole issue of "pluralism" which dominates the global religious landscape and is the idea that if God does indeed exist, then He has provided many means of salvation for the lost. If this is in fact so, then there is no urgency to go and make disciples of all nations because we can all get to heaven by lots of different pathways. Hmmm.....except this isn't what Christ taught. And worse yet- if this is in fact true, then why was Christ sent by the Father to endure a grueling death on the cross in order to reconcile us to God? Why did He hang there in agony for over 6 hours dying a criminal's death if we could all just join the Father in eternal life by any ole' means convenient for us? Does this not cheapen the sacrifice at Calvary?
But this viewpoint is completely not PC. Don't ever hint that you question the notion of pluralism in our society or even around some of your own friends and family, because you will be immediately dismissed. It usually goes something like this "You can't possibly be so narrow minded as to think that Christianity is the only pathway to God!" Followed by righteous indignation and dismissal of your views as "crazy fundamentalist!" I really don't think of myself as crazy, nor as a fundamentalist, and I would much rather the notion of pluralsim be true. It suits me better. I am in inclusive kind of person. I don't want to see anybody left out. I want all good people to have a shot at eternity in heaven. The problem is, as I understand it from the New Testament, God has already formulated His own plan to redeem the nations, and that plan involves salvation thru faith in Christ. I might not like His plan, but when I can create my own universe and keep the sun from falling out of the sky, then perhaps I could take Him on in a debate about the wisdom of this whole salvation plan......Till then I think I'll just shut up and accept the fact that "my ways are not as high as Yours are"......perhaps others should give up questioning God as well.....I'm just sayin'......
Platt, being a Baptist and all, has no trouble whatsoever pointing to the fact that even American Christians embrace the notion of pluralism and therefore feel no sense of urgency to name, claim, teach the masses about Jesus as if their very lives depended upon it. Because, in fact, we don't believe that their/our very lives depend upon knowing Him. We'd rather just sit in church once in awhile, give a little money now and then, trade up for bigger houses, bigger cars, bigger bank accounts, and turn away from the billions of poor, struggling, unloved, unaware people on the planet who will never hear the Good News because we have conveniently forgotten that final little commandment of Christ just before His ascension: Go and make disciples of all nations....A belief in pluralsim gives us a pass to skip that whole Great Commission thing and allows us to divert our attention to more important issues. Like pursuing the American Dream. While all of this is disturbing and painful to admit, it makes a great deal of sense to me....
Every once in awhile, even the Baptists get it right.......It might make make squirm. It might make me uneasy. I might not understand the plan, but how can I turn away from the truth? Painful as it might be? That's not really my style.......Shalom!
So the current book I am reading "Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream" is just deeply discomforting. Let me just say it now and get it out of the way. This book REALLY is a tough read. On so many levels, for so many reasons. This will probably be the subject of the next several posts- there is just so much here to grapple with....
First difficulty for me is that the author, David Platt, is a young evangelical Baptist of the Southern persuasion. I have a tough time with the Baptist Church . (I apologize in advance to all my Baptist friends). They have always seemed a bit too rigid to me. Not my cup of tea. I dislike their stance on women in the church and their complete inflexibility about the specific nature of baptism (whole body immersion) vs sprinkling of babies, etc has always struck me as just plain silly. Like God is gonna' punish people due to a lack of sufficient water over the entire body. Have these people ever heard of the Pharisees and how Jesus constantly admonished them over their rabid legalism as opposed to being adherent to the spirit of the law? Guess not!
But in the interest of reading with an open mind, I have set this aside. More or less. The basic gist of this book is, that if you are a Christian (or if you call yourself one) then it is imperative that you be about God's business in the world of The Great Commission which is to go out and make disciples of ALL NATIONS. Platt basically believes that in this country, our pursuit of the American Dream is the antithesis of the mission of Christianity. The American Dream emphasizes individualism, self promotion, self awareness, pursuit of personal happiness at all costs, materialism, accumulation of wealth, power, and influence. Contrast that with the mission of Christianity, which is to die daily in Christ, to put the self aside, to sacrifice for the Kingdom of Heaven, to obey God's commandment to go and spread the Gospel to all the world, and to be willing to die if need be pursuant to all of the above. Are you squirming yet? You should be!
So why don't we behave like who we say we are? Lots of reasons, but the one that bothers me the most deals with the whole issue of "pluralism" which dominates the global religious landscape and is the idea that if God does indeed exist, then He has provided many means of salvation for the lost. If this is in fact so, then there is no urgency to go and make disciples of all nations because we can all get to heaven by lots of different pathways. Hmmm.....except this isn't what Christ taught. And worse yet- if this is in fact true, then why was Christ sent by the Father to endure a grueling death on the cross in order to reconcile us to God? Why did He hang there in agony for over 6 hours dying a criminal's death if we could all just join the Father in eternal life by any ole' means convenient for us? Does this not cheapen the sacrifice at Calvary?
But this viewpoint is completely not PC. Don't ever hint that you question the notion of pluralism in our society or even around some of your own friends and family, because you will be immediately dismissed. It usually goes something like this "You can't possibly be so narrow minded as to think that Christianity is the only pathway to God!" Followed by righteous indignation and dismissal of your views as "crazy fundamentalist!" I really don't think of myself as crazy, nor as a fundamentalist, and I would much rather the notion of pluralsim be true. It suits me better. I am in inclusive kind of person. I don't want to see anybody left out. I want all good people to have a shot at eternity in heaven. The problem is, as I understand it from the New Testament, God has already formulated His own plan to redeem the nations, and that plan involves salvation thru faith in Christ. I might not like His plan, but when I can create my own universe and keep the sun from falling out of the sky, then perhaps I could take Him on in a debate about the wisdom of this whole salvation plan......Till then I think I'll just shut up and accept the fact that "my ways are not as high as Yours are"......perhaps others should give up questioning God as well.....I'm just sayin'......
Platt, being a Baptist and all, has no trouble whatsoever pointing to the fact that even American Christians embrace the notion of pluralism and therefore feel no sense of urgency to name, claim, teach the masses about Jesus as if their very lives depended upon it. Because, in fact, we don't believe that their/our very lives depend upon knowing Him. We'd rather just sit in church once in awhile, give a little money now and then, trade up for bigger houses, bigger cars, bigger bank accounts, and turn away from the billions of poor, struggling, unloved, unaware people on the planet who will never hear the Good News because we have conveniently forgotten that final little commandment of Christ just before His ascension: Go and make disciples of all nations....A belief in pluralsim gives us a pass to skip that whole Great Commission thing and allows us to divert our attention to more important issues. Like pursuing the American Dream. While all of this is disturbing and painful to admit, it makes a great deal of sense to me....
Every once in awhile, even the Baptists get it right.......It might make make squirm. It might make me uneasy. I might not understand the plan, but how can I turn away from the truth? Painful as it might be? That's not really my style.......Shalom!
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Crossing the Line
As I have said, I am reading a lot. Well- I am always reading a lot, but what is different lately is that everything I am reading is God-glorifying. It's all about breaking out of the conventional faith about 95% of us settle for and going somewhere deeper, more radical, more life altering. In short- it's about taking it to the final level of commitment.
The most recent work I am pondering is Craig Groeschel's book entitled "The Christian Atheist". Now there is an intriguing title. Short little read but packed full of powerful ideas. I read it in less than 2 days. Groeschel, though an evangelical minister, describes himself and a recovering Christian Atheist. He says that Christian Atheists are those who claim to know Christ, but live as if He doesn't exist. The book is about how he was able to identify this problem within himself, how he sought after God to change him, and the difference between how he used to live and how he now lives his life today. If you can't see yourself in this book it is because you have no eyes.
In the final pages of the book Groesschel describes 3 lines that Christians must consider their position in relationship to. The First Line is where most people are. They believe in God but only as kind of a master candy dispenser in the sky. They only consult Him when they need something. As long as the candy is being dispensed according to their needs/demands, that is all the matters. God is an after thought in their lives if they ever think of Him at all. The Second Line involves a life of comfortable service. Eventually some first liners will cross over into the second line. These are folks who are mainly regular church goers. They are in church frequently, serving when called upon, involved in things. They give of their time and resources, but they retain control. They won't sacrifice anything for their faith. They will contribute, but only to a certain point. Because hey- let's be reasonable- God can't expect everything, right? The Third Line involves total abandonment and surrender to God. People who cross this line truly live for Christ. They are His. They go where He asks them, do what He calls them to do, live lives of sacrifice for the Gospel. In short- they are fully surrendered. God is in control, and they are just along for the ride. Obviously, few people ever make it across the third line. Most Americans are line one Christians. Fewer still are in the line two group, and no one ever crosses the third line without first coming to the conclusion that the only life worth living involves complete abandonment of the self in order to serve Christ. This is barely possible in the self seeking, self serving culture we live in. Think for a moment of how many people you actually know who are third line Christians. Have you ever know one? I have read about such people, but I have actually known only one or two. I know one such person right now and the impact in my life has been huge. Just being around someone living this way makes you want to reconsider everything in your own life.
So I have pretty much been a line two Christian for a very long time now. It's fairly easy to identify yourself in the above examples, isn't it? If you are honest you won't have a problem! But there is something in me that is hungering for more. I am restless. I want so much more from this journey. I know that the only thing that can satisfy is a live lived fully surrendered. I know that there is nothing in this world that can provide lasting peace and joy regardless of the circumstances other than a full blown line three commitment. So this is what I am working on. Being able to cross that final line. It's not an instantaneous decision to take the plunge, but rather more like a process of slow renovation. Once the work is done, the crossing will feel effortless. I await that day with great anticipation and joy. Think about joining me where I am headed- across the third line..... Shalom!
The most recent work I am pondering is Craig Groeschel's book entitled "The Christian Atheist". Now there is an intriguing title. Short little read but packed full of powerful ideas. I read it in less than 2 days. Groeschel, though an evangelical minister, describes himself and a recovering Christian Atheist. He says that Christian Atheists are those who claim to know Christ, but live as if He doesn't exist. The book is about how he was able to identify this problem within himself, how he sought after God to change him, and the difference between how he used to live and how he now lives his life today. If you can't see yourself in this book it is because you have no eyes.
In the final pages of the book Groesschel describes 3 lines that Christians must consider their position in relationship to. The First Line is where most people are. They believe in God but only as kind of a master candy dispenser in the sky. They only consult Him when they need something. As long as the candy is being dispensed according to their needs/demands, that is all the matters. God is an after thought in their lives if they ever think of Him at all. The Second Line involves a life of comfortable service. Eventually some first liners will cross over into the second line. These are folks who are mainly regular church goers. They are in church frequently, serving when called upon, involved in things. They give of their time and resources, but they retain control. They won't sacrifice anything for their faith. They will contribute, but only to a certain point. Because hey- let's be reasonable- God can't expect everything, right? The Third Line involves total abandonment and surrender to God. People who cross this line truly live for Christ. They are His. They go where He asks them, do what He calls them to do, live lives of sacrifice for the Gospel. In short- they are fully surrendered. God is in control, and they are just along for the ride. Obviously, few people ever make it across the third line. Most Americans are line one Christians. Fewer still are in the line two group, and no one ever crosses the third line without first coming to the conclusion that the only life worth living involves complete abandonment of the self in order to serve Christ. This is barely possible in the self seeking, self serving culture we live in. Think for a moment of how many people you actually know who are third line Christians. Have you ever know one? I have read about such people, but I have actually known only one or two. I know one such person right now and the impact in my life has been huge. Just being around someone living this way makes you want to reconsider everything in your own life.
So I have pretty much been a line two Christian for a very long time now. It's fairly easy to identify yourself in the above examples, isn't it? If you are honest you won't have a problem! But there is something in me that is hungering for more. I am restless. I want so much more from this journey. I know that the only thing that can satisfy is a live lived fully surrendered. I know that there is nothing in this world that can provide lasting peace and joy regardless of the circumstances other than a full blown line three commitment. So this is what I am working on. Being able to cross that final line. It's not an instantaneous decision to take the plunge, but rather more like a process of slow renovation. Once the work is done, the crossing will feel effortless. I await that day with great anticipation and joy. Think about joining me where I am headed- across the third line..... Shalom!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Radical
I'm into Radical books right now. That's radical with a capital "R". I have been on a mission of late to challenge every notion of my comfortable, middle class, WASPy, American faith. The strange part is that this all sort of began by happenstance. Or so it has seemed to me. Probably not..... As I just typed that phrase I got the whisper "I think not!". Seriously. That just happened!
What I am trying to say is that just a few encounters, just a few exchanges of words with someone much further along in their journey than I, shook something loose inside of me and made me think. And think. And think some more. Sort of like Pooh " think, think, think!". One new way of looking at something then lead to another, and then another, and soon everything seemed pretty much up ended to me. This is both thrilling and scary at the same time. It was a bit like being Alice down the rabbit hole! Soon I was unable to sleep, or waking up at night with the strongest urge to read the Bible that I have ever known. Totally unlike me.....
Fortunately, I have had someone to sort of bring me along and answer my incessant questions. Plus, some very powerful books have made their way into my hands. The first one was Crazy Love by Francis Chan which I am THRILLED to see is on the NYT Best Seller's list! Way to go Francis! This book is life altering and I do not use that word lightly. If you read but one Christian faith related book this year, let this be the one. I was so inspired by Crazy Love that I went straight into his follow up book The Forgotten God. Equally awesome! Francis is my new superhero author!
"The Land in Between" was next, followed by Bill Hybel's book "Whispers from God". Both about the notion of a radical life changing way to live our lives as opposed to the tepid half obedient way we sort of do. More fuel for the all consuming fire...
Am now powering through The Christian Atheist, and have already downloaded the next in line for obsessive reading- entitled approrpriately "Radical- taking back your faith from the American dream" Now there is a book I can hardly wait to dive in to!
So what is the end result of all this reading, talking, writing, wrestling with all of these difficult life questions? I don't know yet because the process is on going, but what I do know for sure is happening is transformation. The old is being stripped away. Something new is being created.
For what purpose I do not know yet. Right now is just the equipping stage. God is teaching me great big, new, radical ideas. And what's more- they make perfect sense to me. I'm not reading them and saying "this is silly- no one can actually live this way!". I am reading them and saying "sign me up! I'm ready! Bring it on!"
So no, this could never have happened by happenstance. I stand corrected. This is the intentional act of God in my life right now for His purposes. Why me? Why now? I don't know. Really I don't. I suspect, however, that it all began with one small act of obedience. That small act has yeilded unbelievable spiritual bounty. So if anyone is reading this, I would say to you this: the next time God presents you with something He wants you to do, say yes. You just might end up somewhere radical....Shalom!
What I am trying to say is that just a few encounters, just a few exchanges of words with someone much further along in their journey than I, shook something loose inside of me and made me think. And think. And think some more. Sort of like Pooh " think, think, think!". One new way of looking at something then lead to another, and then another, and soon everything seemed pretty much up ended to me. This is both thrilling and scary at the same time. It was a bit like being Alice down the rabbit hole! Soon I was unable to sleep, or waking up at night with the strongest urge to read the Bible that I have ever known. Totally unlike me.....
Fortunately, I have had someone to sort of bring me along and answer my incessant questions. Plus, some very powerful books have made their way into my hands. The first one was Crazy Love by Francis Chan which I am THRILLED to see is on the NYT Best Seller's list! Way to go Francis! This book is life altering and I do not use that word lightly. If you read but one Christian faith related book this year, let this be the one. I was so inspired by Crazy Love that I went straight into his follow up book The Forgotten God. Equally awesome! Francis is my new superhero author!
"The Land in Between" was next, followed by Bill Hybel's book "Whispers from God". Both about the notion of a radical life changing way to live our lives as opposed to the tepid half obedient way we sort of do. More fuel for the all consuming fire...
Am now powering through The Christian Atheist, and have already downloaded the next in line for obsessive reading- entitled approrpriately "Radical- taking back your faith from the American dream" Now there is a book I can hardly wait to dive in to!
So what is the end result of all this reading, talking, writing, wrestling with all of these difficult life questions? I don't know yet because the process is on going, but what I do know for sure is happening is transformation. The old is being stripped away. Something new is being created.
For what purpose I do not know yet. Right now is just the equipping stage. God is teaching me great big, new, radical ideas. And what's more- they make perfect sense to me. I'm not reading them and saying "this is silly- no one can actually live this way!". I am reading them and saying "sign me up! I'm ready! Bring it on!"
So no, this could never have happened by happenstance. I stand corrected. This is the intentional act of God in my life right now for His purposes. Why me? Why now? I don't know. Really I don't. I suspect, however, that it all began with one small act of obedience. That small act has yeilded unbelievable spiritual bounty. So if anyone is reading this, I would say to you this: the next time God presents you with something He wants you to do, say yes. You just might end up somewhere radical....Shalom!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Beautiful Words
I'm of Irish ancestry, so I have a natural love of words. I am a self confessed word junkie. One of my favorite websites is Dictionary.com. Love the Word of the Day! I am an avid reader, because when you love words, you tend to either read or write a lot. Sometimes both. Sometimes you even start a blog where you can write whatever you want! There are few things I admire more than a well turned phrase.
I have received some beautiful words recently. Consider this prayer for me from a friend: "As you approach the end of your rope, may you find the strong arms of God whose strength never fails, whose rope never ends, whose patience never fails, whose love never stops, whose forgiveness never ceases and that in His arms you become a silent, yet rejoicing witness overwhelmed and surprised by grace" Now that is a beautiful prayer!
And this from the lovely little devotional "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young: "I continually call you to closeness with Me. I know the depth and breadth of your need for Me. I can read the emptiness of your thoughts when they wander away from Me. I offer rest for your soul, as well as refreshment for your mind and body. As you increasingly find fulfillment in Me, other pleasure become less important. Knowing me intimately is like having a private wellspring of Joy within you. This spring flows freely from My throne of grace, so your Joy is independent of circumstances.". I love yesterday's reading.....
What I find when I read certain writings is that I will feel a profound sense of their truth. They resonate deeply within me. Spoken words can do the same- like listening to an amazing speaker or a powerful sermon. I can just feel the power of words in a very visceral way. I have the same reaction to poetry and song lyrics. I believe this is what some refer to as "a stirring of the soul" This happens sometimes when I am reading scripture as well. The words seem to leap off of the page and make a bee-line for my heart. This is one of my favorite moments. When God reveals something new to me through the words of a gifted writer- be it a close friend, an author, or a biblical prophet from thousands of years ago. Words matter. Because they can and do stand the test of time.....Shalom!
I have received some beautiful words recently. Consider this prayer for me from a friend: "As you approach the end of your rope, may you find the strong arms of God whose strength never fails, whose rope never ends, whose patience never fails, whose love never stops, whose forgiveness never ceases and that in His arms you become a silent, yet rejoicing witness overwhelmed and surprised by grace" Now that is a beautiful prayer!
And this from the lovely little devotional "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young: "I continually call you to closeness with Me. I know the depth and breadth of your need for Me. I can read the emptiness of your thoughts when they wander away from Me. I offer rest for your soul, as well as refreshment for your mind and body. As you increasingly find fulfillment in Me, other pleasure become less important. Knowing me intimately is like having a private wellspring of Joy within you. This spring flows freely from My throne of grace, so your Joy is independent of circumstances.". I love yesterday's reading.....
What I find when I read certain writings is that I will feel a profound sense of their truth. They resonate deeply within me. Spoken words can do the same- like listening to an amazing speaker or a powerful sermon. I can just feel the power of words in a very visceral way. I have the same reaction to poetry and song lyrics. I believe this is what some refer to as "a stirring of the soul" This happens sometimes when I am reading scripture as well. The words seem to leap off of the page and make a bee-line for my heart. This is one of my favorite moments. When God reveals something new to me through the words of a gifted writer- be it a close friend, an author, or a biblical prophet from thousands of years ago. Words matter. Because they can and do stand the test of time.....Shalom!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
The View from the Summit
Today I got up extra early knowing I would need lots of quiet time and prayer to prepare myself for the day ahead. Because today I packed my youngest child off to college. Anyone who knows me has been dreading my reaction to this day.
There is something about your youngest. They are born having to share everything. They have never been the first, or the only. They are never the trailblazer- the oldest has always done everything first. They even end up with fewer photos in the baby album if they get one at all! And yet, they seem to bear it all with great equanimity. Having no other reference point, they accept their status as normal and they manage to thrive anyway. My youngest son was the one who always stuck to me like glue when he was little, and as he grew up, he was my buddy. These past 2 years with his older brother away at college and his dad often traveling for work, we lived quietly and harmoniously for the most part. I found myself taking a deep breath last year around this time....Senior year. The beginning of the end.... Then today.....the end of an era.
Fortunately, God has been equipping me for this day. As I do nearly every morning lately, I got up early to read, study and pray. I gave myself lots of extra time today knowing I would need it. This is a part of my devotional reading today from Max Lucado's "Grace for the Moment":
"You've turned your back on the noise and sought his voice. You've stepped away from the masses and followed the Master as he led you up the winding path to the summit. Just remember, he confides- you'll go nowhere tomorrow that I haven't already been. Truth will triumph. The victory is yours. The sacred summit. A place of permanence in a world of transition".
I read those last two lines over and over. I let them wash over me and then through me. I felt their undeniable truth. That through all of life's difficult transitions, He is there. Though He leads us up rocky paths when we choose to follow, there is always a view from the summit at the top. A place of permanence in a world of transition. How perfect are those words for a mother facing the transition of the empty nest? I never fail to be awed by the way just the right words seem to come when we most need them. Thank you, God of Grace......Shalom
There is something about your youngest. They are born having to share everything. They have never been the first, or the only. They are never the trailblazer- the oldest has always done everything first. They even end up with fewer photos in the baby album if they get one at all! And yet, they seem to bear it all with great equanimity. Having no other reference point, they accept their status as normal and they manage to thrive anyway. My youngest son was the one who always stuck to me like glue when he was little, and as he grew up, he was my buddy. These past 2 years with his older brother away at college and his dad often traveling for work, we lived quietly and harmoniously for the most part. I found myself taking a deep breath last year around this time....Senior year. The beginning of the end.... Then today.....the end of an era.
Fortunately, God has been equipping me for this day. As I do nearly every morning lately, I got up early to read, study and pray. I gave myself lots of extra time today knowing I would need it. This is a part of my devotional reading today from Max Lucado's "Grace for the Moment":
"You've turned your back on the noise and sought his voice. You've stepped away from the masses and followed the Master as he led you up the winding path to the summit. Just remember, he confides- you'll go nowhere tomorrow that I haven't already been. Truth will triumph. The victory is yours. The sacred summit. A place of permanence in a world of transition".
I read those last two lines over and over. I let them wash over me and then through me. I felt their undeniable truth. That through all of life's difficult transitions, He is there. Though He leads us up rocky paths when we choose to follow, there is always a view from the summit at the top. A place of permanence in a world of transition. How perfect are those words for a mother facing the transition of the empty nest? I never fail to be awed by the way just the right words seem to come when we most need them. Thank you, God of Grace......Shalom
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
What is Truth?
Let's try red ink today. Why not? I'm feeling "saucy"!
So- I serve with a wonderful, creative group of people who basically are a worship planning committee for our contemporary service known as "Souljourn". We are called the Core Team. What we basically do is get together twice a month and brainstorm ideas about how to implement our worship service, how to help illustrate the message of the sermon, how to apply media in various ways, and just generally to help our pastor(s) in any way with regard to this particular worship service.
At our last meeting we were discussing an upcoming sermon on the topic of "Truth". Which immediately brought to my mind the scene in the NT when Christ is before Pontius Pilate and Pilate says "Truth? What is truth? Is yours the same as mine?" And therein lies the rub.....Truth. Everybody seems to have their own version of it.
This provoked a rather lively discussion. One of my team members asked our pastor, Joe, if he was going to address how difficult it is to find the truth about anything today. To which Joe responded, that the truth is not all that difficult to find if you think about it. Huh? 'Cause I was with Les on this one. So, my comment was something to the effect of, no wait a minute- truth is practically impossible to discern in the world we live in today. Think about it. We live in a world of spin. Talking heads. There is no actual "news" . It's just all lies, distortions, and thinly veiled opinions in the guise of news. I have tried endlessly to get to the bottom of so many issues only to find it absolutely impossible. Check two different sources and they often say the exact opposite of each other. Trust me on this. I have spent hours researching various issues. Now this is just an impossibility. Someone is lying or at the very least manipulating the facts to suit their ideology. Both sources cannot be true. So which one is it? Thus my point about seeking truth in a world full of deception.
Not to be deterred by a rowdy group of lay people, Joe persisted and pulled out his Bible and began reading from his text for the sermon. John Ch 1: "In him was life and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it" It's really very simple, he said. Truth is always available, but people hate the light and they don't want to see it. Therefore they hide from it. So..... this is why HE is the pastor and we are not! It seemed so amazingly simple when he put it like that. He also said that as far as politics goes, both sides are misrepresenting the truth, which always lies somewhere in the middle. Hmmm.....I can't really argue with that....
So where does this leave us truth seekers? Not really sure but I will be looking at things a little differently in the future trying to figure out who is hiding from the light and who is not. Looking forward to that sermon on Sept 5th for some additional clarity......will keep you posted...Shalom
So- I serve with a wonderful, creative group of people who basically are a worship planning committee for our contemporary service known as "Souljourn". We are called the Core Team. What we basically do is get together twice a month and brainstorm ideas about how to implement our worship service, how to help illustrate the message of the sermon, how to apply media in various ways, and just generally to help our pastor(s) in any way with regard to this particular worship service.
At our last meeting we were discussing an upcoming sermon on the topic of "Truth". Which immediately brought to my mind the scene in the NT when Christ is before Pontius Pilate and Pilate says "Truth? What is truth? Is yours the same as mine?" And therein lies the rub.....Truth. Everybody seems to have their own version of it.
This provoked a rather lively discussion. One of my team members asked our pastor, Joe, if he was going to address how difficult it is to find the truth about anything today. To which Joe responded, that the truth is not all that difficult to find if you think about it. Huh? 'Cause I was with Les on this one. So, my comment was something to the effect of, no wait a minute- truth is practically impossible to discern in the world we live in today. Think about it. We live in a world of spin. Talking heads. There is no actual "news" . It's just all lies, distortions, and thinly veiled opinions in the guise of news. I have tried endlessly to get to the bottom of so many issues only to find it absolutely impossible. Check two different sources and they often say the exact opposite of each other. Trust me on this. I have spent hours researching various issues. Now this is just an impossibility. Someone is lying or at the very least manipulating the facts to suit their ideology. Both sources cannot be true. So which one is it? Thus my point about seeking truth in a world full of deception.
Not to be deterred by a rowdy group of lay people, Joe persisted and pulled out his Bible and began reading from his text for the sermon. John Ch 1: "In him was life and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness but the darkness has not understood it" It's really very simple, he said. Truth is always available, but people hate the light and they don't want to see it. Therefore they hide from it. So..... this is why HE is the pastor and we are not! It seemed so amazingly simple when he put it like that. He also said that as far as politics goes, both sides are misrepresenting the truth, which always lies somewhere in the middle. Hmmm.....I can't really argue with that....
So where does this leave us truth seekers? Not really sure but I will be looking at things a little differently in the future trying to figure out who is hiding from the light and who is not. Looking forward to that sermon on Sept 5th for some additional clarity......will keep you posted...Shalom
The God who Seeks
I am reading a really great book right now. It is called "The Power of a Whisper: Hearing God, Having the Guts to Respond". I am told it is on the NYT Bestseller's List. That isn't how I came across it. I was at a 2 day Global Leadership Summit in early August and Bill Hybels, the author, is the lead pastor of the church who launched this world wide satellite feed conference to empower leaders in the church. It was an amazing 2 days. After hearing him speak, I bought his book. It is my first ever Kindle download! Am lovin' this whole i-Pad thing!
So I am 7 chapters in and it is really good. I think the title is pretty self explanatory as far as the content. But different things keep leaping out at me. This simple little line for example: "Our God is not only near; he actively seeks us out....his presence is not passive. He seeks us out so that he can encourage us to keep going, to move ahead, to live". This spoke to me in a powerful way. I had to read it several times in order to let those words sink in. A God who actively seeks us out. Amazing.
So much of the time we run around "seeking". The most common example that comes to mind is people who are seeking to "find themselves" And others who say they are "seeking God" or "seeking God's will for my life". I have had that last thought myself many times. But the paradigm shifts when we think about God seeking us! I mean it is one thing for the insignificant to seek the Omnipotent. That makes sense. But why would the Omnipotent seek the insignificant? Why does the creator of the universe, the Alpha and the Omega, the Bright Morning Star, the God Most High, seek us? That is the beautiful mystery.
And the answer is love. Overwhelming, relentless love, to quote my favorite author of the moment, Francis Chan. My eldest son does not believe in a "personal God". He calls himself a deist. The dictionary definition of deist is this: " a belief in a God who created the world but has since remained indifferent to it" To say that our views are diametrically opposed would be an understatement. The notion of a God who just created everything and then walked off and left it all makes zero sense to me. And experientially I find this to be untrue as well. Instead what I have found is a God who seeks, a God who saves, and a God who loves us beyond all reason. We don't need to do a thing. We don't need to go in search of Him. He is always drawing near to us. Be still and know......Shalom
So I am 7 chapters in and it is really good. I think the title is pretty self explanatory as far as the content. But different things keep leaping out at me. This simple little line for example: "Our God is not only near; he actively seeks us out....his presence is not passive. He seeks us out so that he can encourage us to keep going, to move ahead, to live". This spoke to me in a powerful way. I had to read it several times in order to let those words sink in. A God who actively seeks us out. Amazing.
So much of the time we run around "seeking". The most common example that comes to mind is people who are seeking to "find themselves" And others who say they are "seeking God" or "seeking God's will for my life". I have had that last thought myself many times. But the paradigm shifts when we think about God seeking us! I mean it is one thing for the insignificant to seek the Omnipotent. That makes sense. But why would the Omnipotent seek the insignificant? Why does the creator of the universe, the Alpha and the Omega, the Bright Morning Star, the God Most High, seek us? That is the beautiful mystery.
And the answer is love. Overwhelming, relentless love, to quote my favorite author of the moment, Francis Chan. My eldest son does not believe in a "personal God". He calls himself a deist. The dictionary definition of deist is this: " a belief in a God who created the world but has since remained indifferent to it" To say that our views are diametrically opposed would be an understatement. The notion of a God who just created everything and then walked off and left it all makes zero sense to me. And experientially I find this to be untrue as well. Instead what I have found is a God who seeks, a God who saves, and a God who loves us beyond all reason. We don't need to do a thing. We don't need to go in search of Him. He is always drawing near to us. Be still and know......Shalom
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Lemonade Days
Some days life hands you lemons. Some days it hands you lemonade. I know, I know, the saying goes "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" But some days it isn't necessary to make your own lemonade. The world just hands it to you. Just a gift of grace, not by your own means. You didn't have to labor. You didn't have to frantically search for a little sugar with which to make those lemons into lemonade. You are just handed a lovely glass of lemonade. I have had such a day today.
My day started with a quiet and peaceful half hour of prayer and devotional reading. The scripture I read spoke to me in a powerful way: Psalm: 27:13 "I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Lovely words and just exactly what I needed to hear.....
After my prayer time, I got ready and headed out to yoga. My Tuesday morning class is small, intimate and just a blast, as well as a great work out. From there I stopped in at the church to rehearse the beautiful piece of music I will sing on Sunday- the Michael W Simth song "I Can Hear Your Voice". Our sanctuary is so beautiful and peaceful. Plus it has amazing acoustics. It is a pleasure to sing in there. Even if just for a rehearsal...
Upon arriving home, I had an inbox full of wonderful e-mail. I had several amazing, affirming e-mails from people I work with in ministry at church. They were so full of praise and encouragement that it was both humbling and awe inspiring to read them. The following words are from one of the e-mails" "My heart overflows with joy seeing God moving and making ever more beautiful and varied music across the strings of your heart. He is teaching you a new song.....I hear the melody growing in virtuosity, grace, and peace." Is this ME he is talking about? Really? I immediately thought of the words to yet another Mercy Me song called "You're to Blame" . A line which says "You are to blame for anything that is good in my heart. And You are to blame for this change that has taken me by storm". All of life seems to be a song to me......
The rest of my day was equally great. A cancellation at my hair stylist enabled me to get in on a few hours notice, and I had dinner with my parents, aunt, and son. The food was wonderful, the fellowship and sangria even better!
The point is this: When you have a nearly perfect day, be glad and rejoice! Celebrate! Praise God for his mercy and goodness. For as we know, in this world we live in which is not our true home, many days are dark, sad, and full of distress. It is important to acknowledge beauty and grace when you see it. Today I did indeed, see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living..... Shalom
My day started with a quiet and peaceful half hour of prayer and devotional reading. The scripture I read spoke to me in a powerful way: Psalm: 27:13 "I am still confident of this; I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord" Lovely words and just exactly what I needed to hear.....
After my prayer time, I got ready and headed out to yoga. My Tuesday morning class is small, intimate and just a blast, as well as a great work out. From there I stopped in at the church to rehearse the beautiful piece of music I will sing on Sunday- the Michael W Simth song "I Can Hear Your Voice". Our sanctuary is so beautiful and peaceful. Plus it has amazing acoustics. It is a pleasure to sing in there. Even if just for a rehearsal...
Upon arriving home, I had an inbox full of wonderful e-mail. I had several amazing, affirming e-mails from people I work with in ministry at church. They were so full of praise and encouragement that it was both humbling and awe inspiring to read them. The following words are from one of the e-mails" "My heart overflows with joy seeing God moving and making ever more beautiful and varied music across the strings of your heart. He is teaching you a new song.....I hear the melody growing in virtuosity, grace, and peace." Is this ME he is talking about? Really? I immediately thought of the words to yet another Mercy Me song called "You're to Blame" . A line which says "You are to blame for anything that is good in my heart. And You are to blame for this change that has taken me by storm". All of life seems to be a song to me......
The rest of my day was equally great. A cancellation at my hair stylist enabled me to get in on a few hours notice, and I had dinner with my parents, aunt, and son. The food was wonderful, the fellowship and sangria even better!
The point is this: When you have a nearly perfect day, be glad and rejoice! Celebrate! Praise God for his mercy and goodness. For as we know, in this world we live in which is not our true home, many days are dark, sad, and full of distress. It is important to acknowledge beauty and grace when you see it. Today I did indeed, see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living..... Shalom
Monday, August 16, 2010
Legacy
I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name
Unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy.
Not well traveled, not well read
Not well to do, or well bred
Just want to hear instead
Well done, good and faithful one
More song lyrics- surprise! I must know a couple of hundred songs of the Contemporary Christian Genre. I am typically singing them all day long. It is a source of amusement to my co-workers. Fortunately, they like my singing! I will get one stuck in my head in a track that just plays over and over all day long. This is the selection du jour. It is by an artist named Nichole Nordemon. I have done a couple of her pieces as offertories for the contemporary service I attend. The name of the song is "Legacy". No surprise there... :) The words are so perfect that there is very little I need to add to them.
So I will just say this. When people talk about "life goals" this is the only one I can think of that is worthy of my life. I want to leave a legacy. One that "points to You enough to make a mark on things". So that when it is all over, and the race is run, I can hear "well done, good and faithful one". That is the whole of my heart's desire. 'Nuff said....... Shalom.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough to make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed Your name
Unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy.
Not well traveled, not well read
Not well to do, or well bred
Just want to hear instead
Well done, good and faithful one
More song lyrics- surprise! I must know a couple of hundred songs of the Contemporary Christian Genre. I am typically singing them all day long. It is a source of amusement to my co-workers. Fortunately, they like my singing! I will get one stuck in my head in a track that just plays over and over all day long. This is the selection du jour. It is by an artist named Nichole Nordemon. I have done a couple of her pieces as offertories for the contemporary service I attend. The name of the song is "Legacy". No surprise there... :) The words are so perfect that there is very little I need to add to them.
So I will just say this. When people talk about "life goals" this is the only one I can think of that is worthy of my life. I want to leave a legacy. One that "points to You enough to make a mark on things". So that when it is all over, and the race is run, I can hear "well done, good and faithful one". That is the whole of my heart's desire. 'Nuff said....... Shalom.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Somewhere in the Middle
Somewhere between the hot and the cold Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me...
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me....
Just how close can I get Lord
To my surrender without losing all control?
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle?
Are we caught in the middle?
No- I didn't write these words. They are those of Casting Crowns- another band I just can't seem to get enough of. From a song called "Somewhere in the Middle". Which seems to be a really accurate description of my life at the moment. Any one else ever felt this way?
I am at a major crossroads in life. Empty nest looms, 50th birthday beacons, the sudden realization that, barring the unexpected, at least half, if not more, of my life is now behind me. So I've lived the first half pretty much as everyone else has. Working, raising a family, accumulating "stuff" and financial security, working at staying married for over 25 years, tinkering at an authentic faith journey. Which begs the question: what will I do with the second half?
And the answer is- I don't know. Yet. But this much I do know. The second half of my life is going to belong to the Savior I love doing whatever He asks of me. I AM willing to trade my dreams for His. This is the completely unexpected realization that I have had recently. And no one is more surprised by that than I. I am making the leap away from the safety of "the middle" and into the land of "the God who is". Right now I am just listening and waiting to hear the plan. And praying that I will recognize it when it is whispered to me. My only request is, Lord, that you speak to me soon, because I can't take much more of this being awakened every single night at 4 am to read scripture. If there is something you want me to do, I am willing, but you have to leave me some energy to actually DO it!. Signed "Sleepless in Wake Forest".....Shalom!
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me...
Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me....
Just how close can I get Lord
To my surrender without losing all control?
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle?
Are we caught in the middle?
No- I didn't write these words. They are those of Casting Crowns- another band I just can't seem to get enough of. From a song called "Somewhere in the Middle". Which seems to be a really accurate description of my life at the moment. Any one else ever felt this way?
I am at a major crossroads in life. Empty nest looms, 50th birthday beacons, the sudden realization that, barring the unexpected, at least half, if not more, of my life is now behind me. So I've lived the first half pretty much as everyone else has. Working, raising a family, accumulating "stuff" and financial security, working at staying married for over 25 years, tinkering at an authentic faith journey. Which begs the question: what will I do with the second half?
And the answer is- I don't know. Yet. But this much I do know. The second half of my life is going to belong to the Savior I love doing whatever He asks of me. I AM willing to trade my dreams for His. This is the completely unexpected realization that I have had recently. And no one is more surprised by that than I. I am making the leap away from the safety of "the middle" and into the land of "the God who is". Right now I am just listening and waiting to hear the plan. And praying that I will recognize it when it is whispered to me. My only request is, Lord, that you speak to me soon, because I can't take much more of this being awakened every single night at 4 am to read scripture. If there is something you want me to do, I am willing, but you have to leave me some energy to actually DO it!. Signed "Sleepless in Wake Forest".....Shalom!
Friday, August 13, 2010
No Accidents
There are no accidents. I don't mean the kind you can have in your car. Sadly, those are all too common. No- I mean the other kind. Those moments in life when you do something at a particular time, for a particular reason that even you yourself can't figure out the significance of until later. The unbelievers in the world would call them "coincidences". But we know better.....
I had two such occurrences this week. Awhile back I was in one of my favorite bookstores in Raleigh- Lifeway. I went in search of something to help a family member who is grieving. Well- in a Christian bookstore there are literally dozens of such books. And they all look good. And they all sound good from reading the back or the inside cover. That's the problem. How to narrow the field....I finally just gave up and prayed this prayer "Lord- you know which of these is the best book. You know the heart of my family member. Pick the right book that will bring the exact words that she needs to hear". And not before long I walked out with 2 in my hand. One, a brief little book that could be read in a sitting, and the other which would require some time to get through. My mom wanted to read through them first to see if she thought they would be a good fit for the recipient. I didn't tell her about the prayer that had decided the selection. After reading them, my mom said the books had absolutely the right tone. Not too preachy, not too religiously dogmatic, and full of practical advice and counsel. To which I replied "Of course, they are perfect for her. God who knows her heart selected them." And then I shared how these 2 books walked out the door with me.....I am confident that both books will bring the solace that is badly needed. How could they not? I had nothing to do with it, but in His wise counsel, God provided the best possible choices.
The other occurrence had to do with an e-mail I had been mulling over that I felt compelled to send to a friend. This was one of those situations where you know someone is hurting over something and you feel the need to reach out and offer support for a difficult decision they have made. I waited several days before sitting down to compose the letter and then send it. I heard back from my friend almost immediately and she thanked me for my concern and said that my letter was so very timely that she believed that I was meant to speak the words I did to her and that she was meant to hear them at exactly that moment. I also recommended a book to her that seemed to fit her current situation and she expressed an interest in reading it. I have no doubt whatsoever, that if she does follow through and read it, she will be amazed at the wisdom it offers. Life changing would not necessarily be too strong a description.
So there you have it. Two examples of God's grace and loving provision. What a privilege that He allows us to have a small role in His work. A very wise friend of mine says that God doesn't need our help to do anything, but he delights in allowing us to share in His work. I can think of no better use for our time......Shalom
I had two such occurrences this week. Awhile back I was in one of my favorite bookstores in Raleigh- Lifeway. I went in search of something to help a family member who is grieving. Well- in a Christian bookstore there are literally dozens of such books. And they all look good. And they all sound good from reading the back or the inside cover. That's the problem. How to narrow the field....I finally just gave up and prayed this prayer "Lord- you know which of these is the best book. You know the heart of my family member. Pick the right book that will bring the exact words that she needs to hear". And not before long I walked out with 2 in my hand. One, a brief little book that could be read in a sitting, and the other which would require some time to get through. My mom wanted to read through them first to see if she thought they would be a good fit for the recipient. I didn't tell her about the prayer that had decided the selection. After reading them, my mom said the books had absolutely the right tone. Not too preachy, not too religiously dogmatic, and full of practical advice and counsel. To which I replied "Of course, they are perfect for her. God who knows her heart selected them." And then I shared how these 2 books walked out the door with me.....I am confident that both books will bring the solace that is badly needed. How could they not? I had nothing to do with it, but in His wise counsel, God provided the best possible choices.
The other occurrence had to do with an e-mail I had been mulling over that I felt compelled to send to a friend. This was one of those situations where you know someone is hurting over something and you feel the need to reach out and offer support for a difficult decision they have made. I waited several days before sitting down to compose the letter and then send it. I heard back from my friend almost immediately and she thanked me for my concern and said that my letter was so very timely that she believed that I was meant to speak the words I did to her and that she was meant to hear them at exactly that moment. I also recommended a book to her that seemed to fit her current situation and she expressed an interest in reading it. I have no doubt whatsoever, that if she does follow through and read it, she will be amazed at the wisdom it offers. Life changing would not necessarily be too strong a description.
So there you have it. Two examples of God's grace and loving provision. What a privilege that He allows us to have a small role in His work. A very wise friend of mine says that God doesn't need our help to do anything, but he delights in allowing us to share in His work. I can think of no better use for our time......Shalom
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Be an Angel to someone
Last week I had a really long day on Thursday. It was a wonderful day- just really long! I had been at an all day Christian Global Leadership Conference, followed by an hour long music improvement class for the musicians at my church. So, it was close to 8pm when I was finally headed home. In a torrential downpour, the magnitude of which I had not seen in a long while. It has been a really hot,dry,summer. All I wanted to do was get home and get out of the crazy weather. God,however, had other plans for me that night.
As I was pulling into my neighborhood I noticed a guy standing outside his car looking perplexed. Of course if I were standing outside my car in a torrential downpour, I think would appear perplexed too! So, I rolled down the window to ask him if he needed some help. He sheepishly replied that his phone was dead ,his car had died, and he couldn't reach his son for help. After borrowing my cell phone it became apparent that this would not fix his problem either. His son was not picking up.
At this point I had a choice to make. I could say "Well, good luck! Hope he shows up!", or I could offer him further assistance. It was clear what the loving response was. So, I drove home, drug my husband out of his chair, and headed out into the rain once again to help the stranger jump his car. Climbing out of my car at this point involved sinking ankle deep into mud. Which is always fun.... After two attempts the car finally started, but just to be sure we followed Manny home. After which I pretty much thought that was the end of it....
Later that evening, I found a voice mail message on my cell phone. It was from Manny the stranded motorist. It had not occurred to me that he would have my cell phone number now stored in his son's cell phone. He left a message saying that he was thankful for our help, and that it was great to know that there were " still good people in the world". Don't we all need to be reminded of that now and again? I learned a saying a long time ago that sticks with me to this day- "Christ has no hands and feet on earth but ours". It is true. Be someone's angel. It's what we are called to do. Even in the rain and the mud. God smiles when we show kindness and mercy to the strangers among us. Shalom.....
As I was pulling into my neighborhood I noticed a guy standing outside his car looking perplexed. Of course if I were standing outside my car in a torrential downpour, I think would appear perplexed too! So, I rolled down the window to ask him if he needed some help. He sheepishly replied that his phone was dead ,his car had died, and he couldn't reach his son for help. After borrowing my cell phone it became apparent that this would not fix his problem either. His son was not picking up.
At this point I had a choice to make. I could say "Well, good luck! Hope he shows up!", or I could offer him further assistance. It was clear what the loving response was. So, I drove home, drug my husband out of his chair, and headed out into the rain once again to help the stranger jump his car. Climbing out of my car at this point involved sinking ankle deep into mud. Which is always fun.... After two attempts the car finally started, but just to be sure we followed Manny home. After which I pretty much thought that was the end of it....
Later that evening, I found a voice mail message on my cell phone. It was from Manny the stranded motorist. It had not occurred to me that he would have my cell phone number now stored in his son's cell phone. He left a message saying that he was thankful for our help, and that it was great to know that there were " still good people in the world". Don't we all need to be reminded of that now and again? I learned a saying a long time ago that sticks with me to this day- "Christ has no hands and feet on earth but ours". It is true. Be someone's angel. It's what we are called to do. Even in the rain and the mud. God smiles when we show kindness and mercy to the strangers among us. Shalom.....
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Small, Sacred Moments
So what exactly constitutes a "religious experience" ? I don't even like to write those words because there are so many negative connotations associated with them. The minute you use that phrase people envision folks speaking in tongues and handling snakes. And that is not what I am talking about! I have personally never seen either of those things. Nor do I ever care to!
No, what I am talking about is that moment when you feel a sense of deep connection with God. When you close your eyes and feel so filled you could weep. And sometimes you do, even though you are trying to hold back the dam of your emotions and keep them from spilling over. These are what I refer to as sacred moments.
Don't we all want more of these in our every day lives? Do we even take note when they occur? Are we watching for them? I am convinced God provides them over and over again but we are so numbed out, so busy, so distracted, that we miss them. How tragic!
Such moments can occur anywhere. They needn't be in church, though for me recently, such a moment did occur in church. It was a small, simple, almost imperceptible moment, yet there it was. If you weren't fully present, you would have missed it.....
This is what happened. Most of you know I sing with a contemporary praise and worship band. I have been doing so for 7 years. It has been a huge blessing in my life. There is one particular song that we sing that the entire band universally loves and sings/plays with great reverence. It is a Mercy Me song (there we are again- Mercy Me. They are amazing!) called Word of God Speak. This song speaks to how there is no need to find words in the presence of the Lord. How the last thing we need is to be heard, but just to be with Him. And in the quiet, to hear His voice. It is a powerful song about just shutting up and listening to the Holy God of the Universe. What a novel concept!
We have a new minister who has just started with our contemporary service. Though he has heard me talk about this song, he had never heard it before. Last Sunday, he did so for the first time. It was a gift to see him receive this song. Right after Word of God Speak, the order of worship called for our "Joys and Concerns" time of talking and sharing. Now this is a good thing. Generally we all love this time of sharing. But after singing such a sacred song, what I think people most long for is just a little SILENCE. Which is exactly what happened. Joe scrapped our corporate prayer time and said that instead, we would all pray silently. And so we sat, in complete slience. With the words from Word of God Speak echoing in our hearts. It was powerful, holy, and I believe pleasing to God. That moment stayed with me all day. I was able to return to it over and over. Writing about it right now fills me with peace. It was a very small act in the grand scheme of things, but small things can carry great significance when they result from obedience to the Holy Spirit.
May God fill your days with sacred moments. May you take note of them when they occur. May you praise Him when you see one. Shalom.....
No, what I am talking about is that moment when you feel a sense of deep connection with God. When you close your eyes and feel so filled you could weep. And sometimes you do, even though you are trying to hold back the dam of your emotions and keep them from spilling over. These are what I refer to as sacred moments.
Don't we all want more of these in our every day lives? Do we even take note when they occur? Are we watching for them? I am convinced God provides them over and over again but we are so numbed out, so busy, so distracted, that we miss them. How tragic!
Such moments can occur anywhere. They needn't be in church, though for me recently, such a moment did occur in church. It was a small, simple, almost imperceptible moment, yet there it was. If you weren't fully present, you would have missed it.....
This is what happened. Most of you know I sing with a contemporary praise and worship band. I have been doing so for 7 years. It has been a huge blessing in my life. There is one particular song that we sing that the entire band universally loves and sings/plays with great reverence. It is a Mercy Me song (there we are again- Mercy Me. They are amazing!) called Word of God Speak. This song speaks to how there is no need to find words in the presence of the Lord. How the last thing we need is to be heard, but just to be with Him. And in the quiet, to hear His voice. It is a powerful song about just shutting up and listening to the Holy God of the Universe. What a novel concept!
We have a new minister who has just started with our contemporary service. Though he has heard me talk about this song, he had never heard it before. Last Sunday, he did so for the first time. It was a gift to see him receive this song. Right after Word of God Speak, the order of worship called for our "Joys and Concerns" time of talking and sharing. Now this is a good thing. Generally we all love this time of sharing. But after singing such a sacred song, what I think people most long for is just a little SILENCE. Which is exactly what happened. Joe scrapped our corporate prayer time and said that instead, we would all pray silently. And so we sat, in complete slience. With the words from Word of God Speak echoing in our hearts. It was powerful, holy, and I believe pleasing to God. That moment stayed with me all day. I was able to return to it over and over. Writing about it right now fills me with peace. It was a very small act in the grand scheme of things, but small things can carry great significance when they result from obedience to the Holy Spirit.
May God fill your days with sacred moments. May you take note of them when they occur. May you praise Him when you see one. Shalom.....
Monday, August 9, 2010
Recurrent Themes
Don't you just love it when a plan comes together? I love it when everything in life seems congruent. When everything makes sense. When all the messages seem to line up. It so seldom happens! When it does, what a blessing!
Lately my life has been one of recurrent themes. Everything is interconnected. I have a conversation with someone. The next day, I read the same words in a book. I am praying and something is revealed, materializing out of a holy mist. Blurry at first, and then crystallizing into a perfect pearl. A verse of scripture seems to speak to me maybe for the first time, or in a deeper way. This is how God speaks. Not from the burning bush, but in the calm after the storm. In whispers to a receptive heart. Or in my case, via a heavenly bullhorn!
All the messages have been the same recently. They are all about setting aside the intellect and learning to rely on the True Counselor, Almighty God, Prince of Peace. Take this for example:
From "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young:
" Understanding will never bring you Peace. That's why I have instructed you to trust in Me not in your own understanding. Human beings have a voracious appetite for trying to figure things out, in order to gain a sense of mastery over their lives. But the world presents you with an endless series of problems. As soon as you master one set, another pops up to challenge you. The relief you had anticipated is short-lived. Soon our mind is gearing up again: searching for understanding (mastery), instead of seeking Me (your master).......My Peace is not an elusive goal, hidden at the center of some complicated maze. Actually, you are always enveloped in Peace, which is inherent in My Presence. As you look to Me, you gain awareness of this precious Peace."
If you have read any of my previous posts, you can see how this is really the crux of the matter for me. Once I became aware of the sin of self reliance and confessed it, I have received the same message over and over. As if to say " Yes! I'm so glad you can see where you went wrong! Now don't do it again! Depend upon me. Seek My counsel and I will guide you."
I hear you Lord. Loud and clear! You can drop the bullhorn now....It's no longer necessary. I am listening......For more beautiful words of wisdom check out "Jesus Calling" This daily devotional book is dedicated to "enjoying peace in His Presence" I can think of no better way to start your day. Shalom!
Lately my life has been one of recurrent themes. Everything is interconnected. I have a conversation with someone. The next day, I read the same words in a book. I am praying and something is revealed, materializing out of a holy mist. Blurry at first, and then crystallizing into a perfect pearl. A verse of scripture seems to speak to me maybe for the first time, or in a deeper way. This is how God speaks. Not from the burning bush, but in the calm after the storm. In whispers to a receptive heart. Or in my case, via a heavenly bullhorn!
All the messages have been the same recently. They are all about setting aside the intellect and learning to rely on the True Counselor, Almighty God, Prince of Peace. Take this for example:
From "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young:
" Understanding will never bring you Peace. That's why I have instructed you to trust in Me not in your own understanding. Human beings have a voracious appetite for trying to figure things out, in order to gain a sense of mastery over their lives. But the world presents you with an endless series of problems. As soon as you master one set, another pops up to challenge you. The relief you had anticipated is short-lived. Soon our mind is gearing up again: searching for understanding (mastery), instead of seeking Me (your master).......My Peace is not an elusive goal, hidden at the center of some complicated maze. Actually, you are always enveloped in Peace, which is inherent in My Presence. As you look to Me, you gain awareness of this precious Peace."
If you have read any of my previous posts, you can see how this is really the crux of the matter for me. Once I became aware of the sin of self reliance and confessed it, I have received the same message over and over. As if to say " Yes! I'm so glad you can see where you went wrong! Now don't do it again! Depend upon me. Seek My counsel and I will guide you."
I hear you Lord. Loud and clear! You can drop the bullhorn now....It's no longer necessary. I am listening......For more beautiful words of wisdom check out "Jesus Calling" This daily devotional book is dedicated to "enjoying peace in His Presence" I can think of no better way to start your day. Shalom!
On my way to you
Mercy me is one of my favorite bands. Lately I have been listening to them as well as some of my other favorite Christian bands, of which there are many. Listening all the time. In the car. In the shower. On my I pad. All the time.....
I needed a break. From the world I mean. I am so worn out with everything. Recently I have decided to take a 30 day break from all forms of news. The Media if you will. All of them. I just can't handle the political climate in this country anymore. Stick a fork in it. I'm done!
My heart has never felt better. I may extend my media free existence indefinitely. I have replaced talk radio with Mercy Me. I have replaced CNN and FOX with Francis Chan, The Bible, a daily devotional, and daily prayer. I feel as light as a feather. My spirit is soaring!
My anthem for living right now is the Mercy Me song "On My Way to You". I can't seem to stop singing it.
Here are the words:
Almost there
Almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear but you keep showin' me
With every step
The more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed
There's joy in the journey
Refrain:
Teach me to think like you think
Show me the things that are true
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you
Create in me
A pure heart and make me new
Less of me
Jesus more of you
Here I stand
Still I'm drawn down to my knees
It's not my strength but your that carries me
(Repeat refrain)
Better yet, one of these days I will master the technology needed to insert an mp3 file so you can click and hear it. Or just go to You Tube and type in Mercy Me. If I can ever master this technology it should be proof positive to anyone out there that God does indeed exist (for you skeptics in the crowd.... :) !
I needed a break. From the world I mean. I am so worn out with everything. Recently I have decided to take a 30 day break from all forms of news. The Media if you will. All of them. I just can't handle the political climate in this country anymore. Stick a fork in it. I'm done!
My heart has never felt better. I may extend my media free existence indefinitely. I have replaced talk radio with Mercy Me. I have replaced CNN and FOX with Francis Chan, The Bible, a daily devotional, and daily prayer. I feel as light as a feather. My spirit is soaring!
My anthem for living right now is the Mercy Me song "On My Way to You". I can't seem to stop singing it.
Here are the words:
Almost there
Almost where I'm supposed to be
It's not all clear but you keep showin' me
With every step
The more my heart moves to your beat
Just like where I'm headed
There's joy in the journey
Refrain:
Teach me to think like you think
Show me the things that are true
Finish the work you have started in me
As I'm on my way to you
As I'm on my way to you
Create in me
A pure heart and make me new
Less of me
Jesus more of you
Here I stand
Still I'm drawn down to my knees
It's not my strength but your that carries me
(Repeat refrain)
Better yet, one of these days I will master the technology needed to insert an mp3 file so you can click and hear it. Or just go to You Tube and type in Mercy Me. If I can ever master this technology it should be proof positive to anyone out there that God does indeed exist (for you skeptics in the crowd.... :) !
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Remodel my heart please!
Recently I have had an epiphany. It has occurred to me that I don't have it all figured out. Imagine my surprise! This always comes as a shock to us competent types. We are so busy problem solving, researching possible solutions, gathering as much data about an issue as we can, and then applying it so that we can make reasonable, rational decisions, that we sometimes confuse knowledge with wisdom. And throughout the whole process we lose sight of the fact that we have been solely focused on using our own competency to discern the answers, rather than asking God to help guide us to the correct decision. I wonder at how many situations in our lives would have turned out differently if we had just put our trust where it belonged in the first place- in God rather than in ourselves. I confessed this particular sin of mine to someone recently and received a resounding "Congratulations!" accompanied by these words:
God does not want to leave us with the sense of “awfulness” but it of necessity is the first stop the train makes in our journey down the track from where we are to the next place He would have us be. In Matthew’s gospel, after His time of preparation for ministry, the very first verse delineating the start of His ministry is, “From that time Jesus began to preach and say, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”” Now all that is to say that the absolute evidence of God at work in us building His Kingdom would therefore have to be his work to bring about repentance. There is no way renovation can take place in our heart so that it might be a more hospitable place for His habitation without first a “tearing out, bringing down, ripping open” How can He rebuild if all the space is already filled and used?
That sort of put it all into perspective for me. After realizing that I have a pattern of just forging ahead without first asking for guidance I prayed that I would be able to stop doing this. Not that I am doing a necessarily crappy job of managing my own life, but I am certain that God could do it better if I would just let Him. I love the words above about how God tears out and renovates our hearts so that He can remodel and remake a place there where He can dwell. That is a beautiful image to me.......bring on the crowbar.......!
God does not want to leave us with the sense of “awfulness” but it of necessity is the first stop the train makes in our journey down the track from where we are to the next place He would have us be. In Matthew’s gospel, after His time of preparation for ministry, the very first verse delineating the start of His ministry is, “From that time Jesus began to preach and say, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”” Now all that is to say that the absolute evidence of God at work in us building His Kingdom would therefore have to be his work to bring about repentance. There is no way renovation can take place in our heart so that it might be a more hospitable place for His habitation without first a “tearing out, bringing down, ripping open” How can He rebuild if all the space is already filled and used?
That sort of put it all into perspective for me. After realizing that I have a pattern of just forging ahead without first asking for guidance I prayed that I would be able to stop doing this. Not that I am doing a necessarily crappy job of managing my own life, but I am certain that God could do it better if I would just let Him. I love the words above about how God tears out and renovates our hearts so that He can remodel and remake a place there where He can dwell. That is a beautiful image to me.......bring on the crowbar.......!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
You Just Never Know How the Holy Spirit Will Use You...
I had the interesting experience not long ago of someone, who had never met me before, speaking words of healing to a powerful hurt that I was carrying in my heart. I remember feeling as if I would burst into tears at that moment. Thankfully I did not. I was in a meeting for cryin' out loud! Not appropriate!
As I pondered these words later, I felt a number of things. First and foremost, rather shocked and surprised. Secondly, I felt as if someone had actually seen me, and finally I knew- I just knew that God had had a hand in all of it. I just don't think there is any other way I could have received these words otherwise. That moment was the beginning of a healing process which has continued since that time to the present, where I now feel whole again. It is amazing- the power of words which are spoken as the result of the Holy Spirit's prompting.
Which is why words matter. You just never know the impact they will have. To either hurt or to heal. Even the most casual off handed remark can hurt someone when there is no intent to do so. And by the same token- we may speak words to someone which carry a profound power to heal. This rarely happens by our own accord, but rather happens when we are living a life under submission to the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit within us that recognizes the need in those around us. All we are called to do is invite Him in and let Him run the show. This is when powerful things will begin to happen in our lives.
So what does that look like? How do we access the Holy Spirit? Are we to wait daily until a tongue of fire descends from the heavens and hovers over our heads? I rather doubt it. I haven't met anyone yet who has had this experience. No- what we are supposed to to instead is invite Him in. Ask him to make our hearts His dwelling place. Pray for it daily if need be. And then ask yourself this question: Do you want to lead by the power of the Holy Spirit or be lead by Him? The real crux of the matter is to ask the Holy Spirit to empower us according to His will rather than praying for a power that we can wield ourselves. Because if left up to me, I would probably just screw it all up anyway.
As I read back over what I have written it all sounds good. And it is. But for me- this is a daily struggle. Because it is always hard to shove yourself out of the way. I believe it is worth it, however, so I am going to keep on asking, praying and trusting.......
As I pondered these words later, I felt a number of things. First and foremost, rather shocked and surprised. Secondly, I felt as if someone had actually seen me, and finally I knew- I just knew that God had had a hand in all of it. I just don't think there is any other way I could have received these words otherwise. That moment was the beginning of a healing process which has continued since that time to the present, where I now feel whole again. It is amazing- the power of words which are spoken as the result of the Holy Spirit's prompting.
Which is why words matter. You just never know the impact they will have. To either hurt or to heal. Even the most casual off handed remark can hurt someone when there is no intent to do so. And by the same token- we may speak words to someone which carry a profound power to heal. This rarely happens by our own accord, but rather happens when we are living a life under submission to the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit within us that recognizes the need in those around us. All we are called to do is invite Him in and let Him run the show. This is when powerful things will begin to happen in our lives.
So what does that look like? How do we access the Holy Spirit? Are we to wait daily until a tongue of fire descends from the heavens and hovers over our heads? I rather doubt it. I haven't met anyone yet who has had this experience. No- what we are supposed to to instead is invite Him in. Ask him to make our hearts His dwelling place. Pray for it daily if need be. And then ask yourself this question: Do you want to lead by the power of the Holy Spirit or be lead by Him? The real crux of the matter is to ask the Holy Spirit to empower us according to His will rather than praying for a power that we can wield ourselves. Because if left up to me, I would probably just screw it all up anyway.
As I read back over what I have written it all sounds good. And it is. But for me- this is a daily struggle. Because it is always hard to shove yourself out of the way. I believe it is worth it, however, so I am going to keep on asking, praying and trusting.......
Words of conviction
Have you ever had the experience of someone saying something to you so profound that it felt like being kicked in the chest by a mule? Ever felt like God was using someone in your life to speak directly to you? Ever heard or read words so directed at your own particular heart that you sit in stunned silence after you read or hear them? This has been happening to me all over the place lately. I hardly know what to think. There are so many examples that I scarcely know where to begin, so I will just pick one and run with it. These are words from someone who has become a sort of a spiritual mentor to me recently via an e-mail exchange:
See, that is the secret of prayer. When we know more and think we have the answers we find it hard to pray. When we don’t know and when we realize we don’t know, we linger because we are dependent upon Him. We come to prayer because we HAVE to pray. We may begin, even reluctantly but out of necessity, but then as love cascading from His presence fills our minds and hearts we then WANT to pray. The mind that knows, and knows how, does not feel the need to pray and so becomes easily crowded out of our day. The fact that there is virtually no church wide prayer other than beginning or ending a meeting or meal and that not routinely is indicative of our reliance upon ourselves and our knowledge and ability.
"Reliance on upon ourselves and our knowledge and ability." Does this sound familiar to anyone? Can you relate? I have never considered why prayer has always seemed so difficult for me. And typically unsatisfying! It has always felt like some huge laundry list of things to ask for, with me doing all the talking and never letting God get a word in edgewise. Prayer has always been difficult for me...until recently. The words above were the impetus behind taking a really hard look at myself and admitting that I don't go to God out of need because I have typically felt I that I have it all under control, thank you! Not surprisingly after confessing this, things have gotten much easier. In his wonderful book "Crazy Love" Franis Chan has a chapter entitled "Stop praying!" What he means is to stop talking, be still, and above all LISTEN. It is in the silence, that the whisper of God's voice is heard. Check out Francis and see if he doesn't blow your heart wide open.....
http://www.crazylovebook.com/ God is love. Crazy, relentless, all-powerful love. Have you ever wondered if we’re missing it? It’s crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe—the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor—loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you’ve verbalized it yet or not...we all know somethings wrong. Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn’t working harder at a list of do’s and don’ts—it’s falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you’re wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.
See, that is the secret of prayer. When we know more and think we have the answers we find it hard to pray. When we don’t know and when we realize we don’t know, we linger because we are dependent upon Him. We come to prayer because we HAVE to pray. We may begin, even reluctantly but out of necessity, but then as love cascading from His presence fills our minds and hearts we then WANT to pray. The mind that knows, and knows how, does not feel the need to pray and so becomes easily crowded out of our day. The fact that there is virtually no church wide prayer other than beginning or ending a meeting or meal and that not routinely is indicative of our reliance upon ourselves and our knowledge and ability.
"Reliance on upon ourselves and our knowledge and ability." Does this sound familiar to anyone? Can you relate? I have never considered why prayer has always seemed so difficult for me. And typically unsatisfying! It has always felt like some huge laundry list of things to ask for, with me doing all the talking and never letting God get a word in edgewise. Prayer has always been difficult for me...until recently. The words above were the impetus behind taking a really hard look at myself and admitting that I don't go to God out of need because I have typically felt I that I have it all under control, thank you! Not surprisingly after confessing this, things have gotten much easier. In his wonderful book "Crazy Love" Franis Chan has a chapter entitled "Stop praying!" What he means is to stop talking, be still, and above all LISTEN. It is in the silence, that the whisper of God's voice is heard. Check out Francis and see if he doesn't blow your heart wide open.....
http://www.crazylovebook.com/ God is love. Crazy, relentless, all-powerful love. Have you ever wondered if we’re missing it? It’s crazy, if you think about it. The God of the universe—the Creator of nitrogen and pine needles, galaxies and E-minor—loves us with a radical, unconditional, self-sacrificing love. And what is our typical response? We go to church, sing songs, and try not to cuss. Whether you’ve verbalized it yet or not...we all know somethings wrong. Does something deep inside your heart long to break free from the status quo? Are you hungry for an authentic faith that addresses the problems of our world with tangible, even radical, solutions? God is calling you to a passionate love relationship with Himself. Because the answer to religious complacency isn’t working harder at a list of do’s and don’ts—it’s falling in love with God. And once you encounter His love, as Francis describes it, you will never be the same. Because when you’re wildly in love with someone, it changes everything.
Along the broken road.......
So this is a new foray for me. Why a blog? Why this title? Why write anything and then send it out into cyperspace? All good questions....to which there are multiple answers.
First of all, I love to write, converse and share thoughts about things that I am interested in. I love to read and share from books that I have read that particularly speak to me. Lately, I have had the unnerving experience of being thrown into a state of chaos spiritually speaking. What started out as a crisis has ended up being a huge growth experience for me. In ways I could never have imagined, God has blessed me. He is speaking to me in whishpers as well as roars right now. I am filled with joy, hope, and just a wee bit of fear. For when God calls, we all would like to think that we would answer with a resounding "YES!" The truth is for me obedience is a hard thing. I am more like that timid kid in the back of the classroom with my hand half raised up, wanting to answer the question, but secretly hoping the Teacher will call on someone else! I hope that through prayer, study, wrestling with the hard questions, and sitting in His silence, that I can grow. I am willing clay in the Potter's hands. I hope this will document the journey. I hope other seekers will draw along side me. The road of each of our lives is a broken one in one way or another. But it is in our weakness that we are made complete. It is when we don't know where we are going or what we are doing that He draws near. Vaya con Dios.....
First of all, I love to write, converse and share thoughts about things that I am interested in. I love to read and share from books that I have read that particularly speak to me. Lately, I have had the unnerving experience of being thrown into a state of chaos spiritually speaking. What started out as a crisis has ended up being a huge growth experience for me. In ways I could never have imagined, God has blessed me. He is speaking to me in whishpers as well as roars right now. I am filled with joy, hope, and just a wee bit of fear. For when God calls, we all would like to think that we would answer with a resounding "YES!" The truth is for me obedience is a hard thing. I am more like that timid kid in the back of the classroom with my hand half raised up, wanting to answer the question, but secretly hoping the Teacher will call on someone else! I hope that through prayer, study, wrestling with the hard questions, and sitting in His silence, that I can grow. I am willing clay in the Potter's hands. I hope this will document the journey. I hope other seekers will draw along side me. The road of each of our lives is a broken one in one way or another. But it is in our weakness that we are made complete. It is when we don't know where we are going or what we are doing that He draws near. Vaya con Dios.....
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