True Love

Love is one of the most misunderstood of human emotions. What we are fed culturally in this society is a cheap imitation of the real thing much as the empty calories of soda and junk food are passed off as nourishment for our bodies. We see all sorts of dysfunctional relationships played out in TV dramas and reality shows, all allegedly portraying "love". Most of what we see presented bears absolutely no resemblance to the real deal.

So what do I mean by real love? The Hebrews used the word Agape to describe the love of God. This is the way in which God loves each of us and how He calls us to love one and other. This is the type of love that is described as the way Christ loves the Church.  The problem with Agape Love is that it is so rare as to be virtually unrecognizable.  This is the type of love that bears all things.  That forgives unconditionally.  That never fails even when we do.  Sound familiar?  I didn't think so!

The first place I ever remember becoming familiar with the concept of  Agape Love was when I went on The Walk to Emmaus several years ago.  Emmaus is all about Agape Love.  For 72 hours each of the pilgrims on The Walk gets a crash course on Agape . At the end of your time at Emmaus you know what it is to be loved and cared for in the most perfect and holy of ways.  Which explains why this experience is so life changing for many Christians.

I recently experienced Agape Love when participating in a healing service at my church about a month ago.  What I remember thinking and feeling that night was this sense that this was somehow the real mission of the church.  That so much of what we do isn't the real thing.  But there was a recognition that night that this somehow was.  The difference was easily discernible.  It is hard to describe if you weren't there, but in that moment I had perfect clarity that this was exactly what Jesus had in mind when He called us to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Something extraordinary took place in the union of the hearts and hands of all those gathered together in prayer that night.

Which leads me to my most recent experience with Agape Love and that is the love that compels you to stand with someone in the most difficult of circumstances.  I am talking about death and all the ugly realities of it.   Death itself, I am finding, is far less to be feared than the actual process of it.  This is true for the one who is dying as well.  The real fear comes from the long, slow, drawn out incapacitation, loss of functioning, increasing dependency, and loss of dignity.  This is the real enemy.  Very few people, I have found, are actually up to the task of seeing this through.  It is so very difficult. Which is why at the end, so many people simply turn away rather than face it.  Ordinary love isn't enough to see you through this situation.  But Agape Love is.  This is the love that God supplies that enables us to bear all things, no matter how difficult.

As I spend the last days on this earth that  I can with my best childhood friend who is dying from cancer, I am reminded that this is the final act of love which I can show her.  I can change nothing in this situation.  I can't fix anything as much as I want to.  I am powerless.  But I can be present.  I can care for her physical needs.  I can comfort her child and husband.  I can laugh, and remember, and cry with her over all the we have shared, over all that we will never share as I am left behind while she goes on ahead.  The good news in this is that we know that this is not goodbye, but merely farewell.  We know that we will see each other again in eternity.  And this, we know, is because of the Agape Love of a Holy God who so loved the world that He sent His Son to ensure that all who believe in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  Now that's True Love.    Shalom!