The Saturday Girl

I've had some strange moments recently. Moments when I have felt not like myself at all. Moments when I have felt frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. Moments when I have very much wanted to just walk away. From both people and things that I love and care about. Why? Because life hasn't been going according to my script or expectations. Because sometimes relationships become complicated and road blocks pop up to thwart our best laid plans. Quitting. It has crossed my mind several times lately regarding a couple of situations.

Ever uttered one of these phrases? "I should just quit will I'm ahead." "I should just cut my losses." "What difference does it make anyway?" "Why bother?" Lots of defeatist language here! Lots of self pity too! I pride myself on being someone who sticks it out. Someone who is not afraid to face difficulties. I am no quitter. That is what I believe about myself. So, when I began feeling so discouraged about things it made me wonder - what's going on here?


I think God is trying to show me something. That weakness is in all of us. That we are all capable of quitting and giving up. At any moment. Over anything. Not one of us is strong enough to stay the course without His help. Even Peter who loved Jesus and walked with Him for over 3 years quit. He abandoned Jesus when the going got tough. He walked away and denied ever knowing Him. There is a little Peter in all of us. This past week, I was wrestling with the Peter in me.

Then today, I ran across this in the Max Lucado book we are reading as a Lenten devotional.  This book "He Chose the Nails"  has been a quick easy read.  I like Max.  I have read several of his books.  Today's chapter struck a real chord with me.  Max was talking about the disciple whom Jesus loved- John.  Now John was one of the only disciples who stuck around through the crucifixion.  The New Testament records Jesus addressing John from the cross and charging him with the care of His mother.   After Jesus' death, John continued to stick around.  Everyone else fled, scattered, or was in hiding.  John watched his closest friend Jesus die on Friday and stuck around through Saturday.  We don't know why he did this, or what he did that day.  But Max raises and interesting point that I have never thought of.  He puts it this way:  "What about you?  When you're in John's position what do you do?  When it's Saturday in your life, how do you react?  When you are somewhere in between yesterday's tragedy and tomorrow's triumph, what do you do?  Do you leave God--or do you linger near him?  John chose to linger. And because he lingered on Saturday, he was around on Sunday to see the miracle." 

Yikes!  That had all the subtlety of a bullet between the eyes. Ouch!  It never ceases to amaze me how God will speak in His own time, on His own terms, in whatever way He sees fit.  Sometimes it comes through a conversation with someone. Sometimes it is a song you hear. Sometimes it is from a book you just happen to be reading.  I did a lot of praying this past week for guidance regarding all the issues I was wrestling with.  God was strangely silent.  Until today.  Today I heard Him loud and clear.

The answer to my dilemma is that God wants me to be a Saturday Girl.  The kind of girl who sticks around, though the going gets tough, though the future is uncertain, to see what He will do.  Instead of packing up and moving on, He is asking me to stick around.  To be patient.  To bear some discomfort.  To hang in there. To stay close to Him and watch for a miracle.  I don't always get it right.  But I have learned to wait until I get some instructions.  I think I just read those today in the words of Max Lucado.  Be a John, not a Peter.  It's a Saturday in your life.  Choose what you will do with it.   Shalom!