I have a friend who after many years of marriage, is now single again. We were having a conversation recently about her foray into the brave new world of on line dating, otherwise known as Match.com. There is a whole lotta' stuff going on in that realm that I am blissfully ignorant of. My friend was giving me the run down on all the particulars, the pitfalls, the complexities of sorting thru every one's data, the lists of what they are looking for in a partner, their descriptions of who they are, the importance of your photos, full body shots vs head shots, etc. I confess it sounded more like someone trying to describe the ins and outs of the subprime mortgage mess than just guys and gals trying to meet and make a connection.
One thing she said really struck me. She was talking about how all the men automatically assume that every woman will actually be 10 -20 pounds heavier than they look in their photos or will admit to (do they really ask you to list your weight in your profile?!?!?!). That is just a given. I thought about that for a minute and said "So?". I hope I didn't sound rude, but I probably did. I then asked her this question "So IF a woman just happens to be 10 -20 pounds heavier than she indicated, does that make her automatically not worth getting to know? Even if everything else about her is just perfectly awesome?" Never mind. I know the answer to that. I have a deep understanding of the culture we live in....
So several things struck me about this conversation. First and foremost, how grateful I am that I am NOT in a position where this will ever be an issue in my life. Frankly, I would rather eat ground glass than to have to try to date again! Happily married going on 27 years. Thanks honey! But even beyond gratitude for the love that I have in my own life, I was struck mainly by how truly messed up our culture is. We judge everything by externals. Outward appearance is everything. Looking good. Keeping up with the Jonses. Appearing successful. It doesn' t much matter what's going on under the surface as long as the packaging looks good! It's almost like people don't even stop to look at what's on the inside anymore. Of anything!
I can honestly say that this is not a factor in my life these days. The older I get, the less I care about such things. In fact, I am not interested in anything much about anybody except who they are as a person. I don't want to know what you "do" or where you're from, how big your house is, or how many toys you own. Just not interested. What I want to know is who are you? Whose are you? I find that I have absolutely no desire to spend time with anyone who isn't willing to sit down and have a deep, meaningful conversation with me about life, love, things of the Spirit, faith, etc. Okay, so I like art, religion, music, philosophy, and books too. But the point is- none of these topics are superficial. They impart information about the person you are spending time with. Their views on such things help you to see their heart and soul. What could be more important than that?
No, I will never have to worry about on line dating. But I do like meeting new people. Making new friends. Getting to know people who I might know a little, a little bit more. And my only criteria is that they be beautiful on the inside. Scripture tells us that God looks at the heart of the man. I find it interesting that there is not a single recorded description of what Jesus looked like. Now you think that somebody writing all those Gospels and Epistles would have thought to write down what He looked like while they were recording all the rest of it for posterity. One of my friends likes to say that if God didn't tell us something about _____ (fill in the blank) in His Word, it's because it's not important for us to know. Clearly Jesus' appearance was not something of any importance or we would know about it. If God didn't think to include a physical description of His son in His Word, then I am certain it is not important for us to put any weight on such things either. No pun intended.
So here's to my friends. You are my friends because you are beautiful. Beyond mere appearances. Where it counts. In your hearts. In your souls. In His sight. In mine too.....Shalom!
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