Somewhere in the Middle

Somewhere between the hot and the cold Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me...


Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle you'll find me....


Just how close can I get Lord
To my surrender without losing all control?
Fearless warriors in a picket fence
Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end
And we are caught in the middle


With eyes wide open to the differences
The God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His
Or are we caught in the middle?
Are we caught in the middle?


No- I didn't write these words. They are those of Casting Crowns- another band I just can't seem to get enough of. From a song called "Somewhere in the Middle". Which seems to be a really accurate description of my life at the moment. Any one else ever felt this way?


I am at a major crossroads in life. Empty nest looms, 50th birthday beacons, the sudden realization that, barring the unexpected, at least half, if not more, of my life is now behind me. So I've lived the first half pretty much as everyone else has. Working, raising a family, accumulating "stuff" and financial security, working at staying married for over 25 years, tinkering at an authentic faith journey.   Which begs the question: what will I do with the second half?

And the answer is- I don't know. Yet. But this much I do know. The second half of my life is going to belong to the Savior I love doing whatever He asks of me. I AM willing to trade my dreams for His. This is the completely unexpected realization that I have had recently. And no one is more surprised by that than I.   I am making the leap away from the safety of "the middle" and into the land of "the God who is". Right now I am just listening and waiting to hear the plan. And praying that I will recognize it when it is whispered to me. My only request is, Lord, that you speak to me soon, because I can't take much more of this being awakened every single night at 4 am to read scripture.  If there is something you want me to do, I am willing, but you have to leave me some energy to actually DO it!.  Signed  "Sleepless in Wake Forest".....Shalom!