Recently I have had an epiphany. It has occurred to me that I don't have it all figured out. Imagine my surprise! This always comes as a shock to us competent types. We are so busy problem solving, researching possible solutions, gathering as much data about an issue as we can, and then applying it so that we can make reasonable, rational decisions, that we sometimes confuse knowledge with wisdom. And throughout the whole process we lose sight of the fact that we have been solely focused on using our own competency to discern the answers, rather than asking God to help guide us to the correct decision. I wonder at how many situations in our lives would have turned out differently if we had just put our trust where it belonged in the first place- in God rather than in ourselves. I confessed this particular sin of mine to someone recently and received a resounding "Congratulations!" accompanied by these words:
God does not want to leave us with the sense of “awfulness” but it of necessity is the first stop the train makes in our journey down the track from where we are to the next place He would have us be. In Matthew’s gospel, after His time of preparation for ministry, the very first verse delineating the start of His ministry is, “From that time Jesus began to preach and say, ‘Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand”” Now all that is to say that the absolute evidence of God at work in us building His Kingdom would therefore have to be his work to bring about repentance. There is no way renovation can take place in our heart so that it might be a more hospitable place for His habitation without first a “tearing out, bringing down, ripping open” How can He rebuild if all the space is already filled and used?
That sort of put it all into perspective for me. After realizing that I have a pattern of just forging ahead without first asking for guidance I prayed that I would be able to stop doing this. Not that I am doing a necessarily crappy job of managing my own life, but I am certain that God could do it better if I would just let Him. I love the words above about how God tears out and renovates our hearts so that He can remodel and remake a place there where He can dwell. That is a beautiful image to me.......bring on the crowbar.......!
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