I have been thinking a lot about conflict lately. There is so much of it everywhere we look. In our homes, in our schools, in our communities, in our nation, in our world, and sadly- in our churches. The one place you expect to be your shelter in the storm. When your church ceases to be this, what does it become?
You would think that with the wealth of instruction that Jesus left about how we are to handle conflict we could do a better job with it. The NT is full of examples. The story about how to go confront someone and speak in love. If they don't acknowledge, go back with a friend. Then take a second witness if that doesn't work. That's a pretty clear example. Turn the other cheek, walk the extra mile, give the man your cloak- all fairly clear examples also. Forgive someone seven times seven. You get the picture.....
So why don't we practice what He preaches? This confounds me. I think it must have to do with our egos, our overriding need to be "right" and an addiction to drama. We pay lip service to "blessed are the peacemakers", but who really glorifies peace and humility? Take a good look around you at the world we live in. The 24 hour news cycle thrives on conflict, petty insults, continuous stirring of the pot. Why do people watch reality TV? Name one show that portrays a peaceful, loving family, community, or small group... Can't do it? Of course not! Because reality TV is all about drama and conflict. People tune in hoping to see a cat fight. Newspapers don't sell unless there is a big shocking headline of the front page. The more salacious the better.
And sadly- our churches are not immune from these influences either. Because they are made up of people. And people are imperfect creatures. Full of sinful drives and the desire to kill the light. But the difference between "us" and "them" is that we profess to know Christ. Yet we refuse to be changed by Him. What good is "knowing" him when you don't "live" in Him?
If we really knew Christ and abided in Him, we would let Him, through us, love those who rub us the wrong way. We would ask Him to help us love those we find unlovable. Most of us don't even try to love those we dislike and maybe we shouldn't even try on our own. Who can really do this anyway? But I am reminded of a wonderful story I heard in a sermon recently about a man who, when confronted with a person from his past who had done him great harm, bowed his head and asked God to help him love this enemy. He knew he couldn't do it by his own power, but his simple prayer allowed the Spirit of God to enter him , and it was the Spirit who loved this person. And in that moment, love replaced anger, hurt, and remembrance of past pain inflicted. Not by his own power could this have happened, but by the Spirit of God working through him. Amazing!
I have been thinking a lot about that story today. How much better would the world be if we just practiced this kind of faith? If each of us could just live in such a way, imagine the difference we would see in ourselves and our lives. The next time I am confronted by someone who has really affected me in a negative way I will try to remember this example of Christ-like behavior. I will try to remember a better way to resolve conflict I will try to remember that first and foremost, we are called to love each other as Christ loves us. And forgive each other as He has forgiven us......Shalom!
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